Before I Had A Baby, My Hair Was My Favourite Thing About Myself

Before I had a baby, my hair was my favourite thing about myself. Through weight fluctuations, bad skin and a misjudged obsession witha smoky eye in the noughties, my naturally blonde hair would always look good with pretty minimal effort. I never had to straighten it, I washed it every few days and got it cut along with a half head of highlights once or twice a year. Unlike almost everything else about my appearance, I always had a great relationship with my hair.

Then, in 2021,  I got pregnant. I’d been told that my pregnancy hair would be thick, lustrous and shiny - and it was. What I hadn’t been warned about was the fact that this would soon be a thing of the past. When my son was three months old I noticed that my hair was filling up the plug hole in the shower, and my brush was full of hair. My hairline at each side of my forehead had two big bald patches, something I only truly noticed when I tied my hair back in a ponytail and saw photographs of myself looking to the side. I’m not alone: postpartum hair loss, also known as telogen effluvium, is reported to affect 40% of women in the three months following their child's birth.

This troubling development was exacerbated by the fact I had some highlights which ended up being far more bleach-based than my usual colourist would have preferred and my hair reacted strangely (which can happen as a result of your hormonal changes during pregnancy). My hair took on a yellow hue, felt brittle and unhealthy. I then decided on a whim to get five inches cut off. Big mistake, huge! If I can impart one piece of postpartum wisdom, it’s that no one should never make big decisions about one’s hair when they’re as sleep deprived and hormonal as I was. It was a disaster. I wailed to my husband that I looked like a Karen.

It didn’t help that I was already midway through an all out war with my body image and self esteem. I hated what I saw in the mirror. I was struggling badly with my weight gain, both from pregnancy but also the fact I had previously put on two stone during the pandemic. I couldn’t find anything to wear. Nothing fitted, and I needed to wear something that I could breastfeed in, which reduced my options even further. I ended up wearing huge, oversized shirts and leggings. And now, like the cherry on a very unkempt cake, my hair looked awful too. I never realised how much of my self esteem was tied up in my hair, until my relationship with my appearance hit rock bottom.

What came next can only be described as an obsessive hunt for ways to get my hair back to its former glory and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Grazia’s very own acting head of beauty Annie Vischer came to my rescue and advised very gentle brushing with a kind-to-tangles brush like a Wet Brush and to avoid dry shampoo which would sit on my scalp. She also recommended thrichologist-approved shampoos such as Nioxin and Phillip Kingsley. A crowdsource amongst my followers on Instagram threw up suggestions for vitamin E and biotin supplements, which both help to boost hair growth and improve the condition of both your hair and scalp.

I also consulted with the team at 12 Trim Street in Bath, where I live, about what to do on a more practical level. They advised me that, painful as it was, I needed to let the dust settle. Let the bleach grow out and fade, give my hair a break.

It was excruciating and it took over a year to get my hair health back on track. I took supplements, I used hair masks, oils, scalp exfoliators and purple shampoos. I stopped blow drying but I started straightening my hair for the first time in my life: having a baby had caused my hair to go wavy. When I felt that I’d done all I could to treat my hair with kindness, I waited, and I waited. A month ago I went back to 12 Trim St where salon owner Emily performed hair colour wizardry, turning my bad bleach job (with five inch dark roots) into a glistening honey blonde with natural looking highlights.

I still don’t feel like I’ve got my pre-baby hair back and maybe I never will. The texture is different, it needs far more care and thought than it ever did before. But I’m getting there, and my self esteem is improving in the process. As they say, hair doesn't make the woman - but good hair definitely helps.

5 Products Behind My Hair Recovery Journey