A relationship without commitment and no strings attached: to many, situationships might sound like having your cake and eating it - which is how so many of us wind up unwillingly in one. Essentially a mid-way point between a booty call and a boyfriend, a situationship is defined by having absolutely no label attached to date nights and sex. In theory, it's lower maintenance. In reality, it can be a total emotional mess.
In our experience, situationships tend to occur when you're in close proximity to your potential partner. They're someone near enough that they become a convenience— a habit. Maybe you even do relationship type things like spoon on a Sunday and cook together. But suddenly you won't hear from them for two days and you just have to take it because technically they're not your boyfriend (cue crippling anxiety).
When you're in a situationship you find yourself asking so many questions your friends and family grow sick of you. 'I haven't heard from him since Monday, is that normal? He kissed me on the forehead does that mean he cares about me? He introduced me to his mum does that mean it's getting serious?' ...for example.
But someone wise once said: 'If someone wants to be with you, you'll know. If you're confused, then they don't.' In our opinion, relationships thrive thanks to consistency, and sporadic affection is ultimately not worth your time. Yet, when someone's giving you irregular girlfriend treatment it can be hard to walk away.
Is It Ever A Good Idea To Be In A Situationship?
'Whether a situationship is fun or confidence eroding comes down to your intentions when you enter into one,' says Hayley Quinn, dating expert for Match.
'If both parties are open with each other and are happy to have some of the benefits of a relationship, without ever defining it, then there is no harm in - as Love Islanders would say- "cracking on"!' she says. 'However, if you've entered into a situationship secretly hoping it will become a relationship, watch out. If you compromise your personal values just to keep someone in your life, then you'll likely feel your self-esteem crumble in the process.
'If you are genuinely happy with how things stand then ensure you keep reaffirming it through your actions,' Hayley says. 'Don't over crowd your date with messages, and instead give them space to keep some emotional detachment from you. Instead, focus on creating mutually rewarding experiences when you are together. For example, could they be your new wing person to explore that event you wanted to check out? Or potentially that sexual experience you wanted to have?
If you're comfortable that sometimes people are in your life for a season, and a situationship suits your current life circumstances, great. However, if you want to start something real, gravitate towards people who share exactly the same relationship agenda.'
So, there you have it. Proceed with caution...