When it came to planning my wedding, I always knew I wanted the best of both worlds - a small, intimate celebration and a big party with all my friends. That's why it always made sense for us to follow our hearts and have a 'double wedding' - aka a legal ceremony, followed by a big celebration.
We aren't alone. Recent research by wedding planning app Bridebook has found that one in seven couples now have their formal wedding on a different day to their main celebration - something that was far less common for previous generations. I lost my mum to cancer when I was 29, which spurred me on to go all out on my big day. If my mum couldn't be there, which is the saddest thing, then I knew I wanted to do things on my terms. I had three hen do's and two weddings in total, so we definitely didn't do things by half.
Double the wedding meant even more costs, and it did set us back a significant amount. We had our first wedding, the legal ceremony, at Edinburgh Chambers and then a rooftop party, followed by dinner at a Chefs table restaurant for just ten of us. In total, it set us back around £4,000. That included a five star hotel, my dress (£350), my shoes (£60), a fancy meal and a wedding cake (£50). I still walked down the aisle, but I had my best friend give me away, which was really special.
It was a small, intimate ceremony with my husband's family, and afterwards we all went to do karaoke locally - I wore my wedding dress, which was filthy by the end. We didn't put it on Facebook, and kept it very private. What was even better is that we knew we were going to do it all over again a week later on a huge scale.
Our second ceremony was a party with 80 guests at Netherbyes House, a quirky venue in the Scottish Borders. It felt like I had the opportunity to do things how I really wanted to do them. We celebrated in a marquee with a glass roof, and we hired bouncy castle for the kids.
I had two wedding dresses, but managed to save some money on my bridesmaids and daughter's outfits. For the second ceremony, my bridesmaids wore black dresses they already had, or from high street brands like ASOS, and I got my daughters' dresses from Vinted. We didn't have a cake or wedding rings, and I had a local beautician make my bouquet. I'm an events planner, which meant I was in a lucky position to pull in a few favours to keep the costs down - we got good deals on a photographer, videographer and the venue.
There were some parts of our wedding(s) that were slightly over the top. We hired a gospel choir that cost us £1,000, who sang into the cocktail hour. We had a favourite restaurant in Edinburgh and we wanted to recreate the menu, so the food came to around £6,000 for 80 guests. We also paid for the accommodation for everyone who stayed over. It was definitely an expensive decision, but I felt it was worth doing, since people had made the effort to watch us get married. Other extravagances included tequila shots, a champagne tower and a live event artist that drew pictures of the guests. One unusual element we opted for was £1 scratch cards as wedding favours - nobody won, and it was a scene buying them all in my local newsagents, but it was fun.
I think more people are leaning towards double weddings, as there's so much pressure on just having one big day. Obviously, money is tight for the majority of us, but I think when it coms to weddings, you will never regret doing things on your own terms, with a higher level of personalisation. Having a separate legal ceremony really allows you to take a breath and soak up that intimacy - without the worry that there's a huge party happening later on. With mum missing from my big day, I knew I owed it to myself to honour the wedding I truly wanted. And I'm so glad it did.
Sian Downes is the CEO/ Founder Spark Staysand Strawberry Lemonade Events