Would You Get A Lockdown Sex Buddy?

What would you do if the government advised those of us without a partner to find ourselves a sex buddy to see us through lockdown? It's a silly question, perhaps, at a time when our collective libidos are off the scale after watching Normal People. And it's something single people in Holland will need to seriously consider now, after the Dutch government told them they should come to an 'arrangement' with one other person.

The Dutch National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM) issued guidance for people missing intimacy during the pandemic, saying: ‘It makes sense that as a single [person] you also want to have physical contact.'

'Discuss how best to do this together,' it goes on. 'For example, meet with the same person to have physical or sexual contact (for example, a cuddle buddy or 'sex buddy'), provided you are free of illness. Make good arrangements with this person about how many other people you both see. The more people you see, the greater the chance of (spreading) the coronavirus.’

The Netherlands has been maintaining what they have called an ‘intelligent lockdown’ since March 23, where up to three visitors are allowed in people’s homes on the condition they keep their distance. It’s not, however, clear how anyone will do this while being a Friend With Benefits.

Meanwhile in the UK, many isolating on their own haven’t been close to another person for months. Weeks ago Jenny Harries, the deputy chief medical officer, told reporters that dating couples: ‘should test the strength of their relationship and decide whether one wishes to be permanently resident in another household.’

Grace, 29, from London, says she's been climbing the walls 'with a mixture of boredom, loneliness and horniness. I'd definitely get a sex buddy if it was allowed – in fact, I'd do it now but I don't want the guy I'm talking to on Hinge to judge me.'

Grace lives on her own after her flatmate moved home at the beginning of the lockdown period. ‘I’ve been speaking to one guy for a few weeks now and if Boris Johnson said tomorrow that we should all find ourselves a sex buddy I’d be delighted. Although I bet it would open a can of worms of "OK, who’s going to ask who to come over?"'

Lilly, 31, from Leeds, isn’t so sure and feels the Dutch government aren’t taking into consideration the pain ‘friends with benefits’ can cause for some.

‘It never works. Someone always ends up liking the other person more,’ she says. ‘I’ve had sex buddies in the past and I know how it can end. The Dutch can say what they want but they won’t be there to mend the broken hearts when lockdown is lifted and one of the sex buddies quickly loses interest and pisses off into the world.'

Gina, 30, from Cambridge, who is currently living with her parents, agrees. ‘Sex buddies don’t work, surely we all know that by now? One party always catches feelings. But given my circumstances, being that I haven’t had sex in 10 months, I would say yes to a sex buddy. I’ve actually thought about finding someone in my area maybe… But, that would mean breaking the social distancing rules, and if I’ve gone this long then I know I can hold out – even if Normal People did make me incredibly horny!'

Georgia, 25, says she wouldn't see a sex buddy at the moment either, even if official guidance told her to. If she was allowed to go near another person, she'd rather see family.

'Even if the government advised it and experts agreed it was safe, I think I'd be wary about being so physical with another person that wasn't a serious partner or someone you know for sure is being as careful as you are,' she says.

'In my experience, fuck buddies are never really "buddies" so I wouldn't trust whoever it was to be as safe as I was being – the men I date would probably have 10 other "bubble sex buddies" on speed dial. All in all, I'd much rather spend time with family or friends than a fuck-buddy if I had to choose - they bring a lot more value to my life than penetration.'

At the beginning of lockdown in the UK, the government said couples who don’t live together must quickly choose whether to cohabit or not meet at all. Despite it going against the UK government's guidelines, Hannah, 34, would jump right to it now either way.

‘I thought I had a sex buddy on the horizon… I was all set for a lockdown f***fest but alas, he feels guilty about his children. I said I think I’ve had it, but hey. We met up and snogged and I think he felt guilty. The kids are late teens so I am sure they are up to much worse. But his parents are elderly. I spent £300 on sexy underwear which is now still in its box mocking me.’

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