I moved in with my boyfriend a year ago and getting your own place together and living in such close quarters can make you privvy to a few things you never thought about before, and now kind of wish you'd never known. If this is you then this reddit thread is for you...
1. The Real Question is, did he know this would happen?
‘I learned that men can have a lot of dribble after they pee. I learned this because he went to pee, then came back and whipped out his dick and splattered my face…’ - Kambrose1459.
2. Even other redditers do not understand why it takes some people so long to have a poo?!
‘Pooping time is sacred and a great time to catch up on the news and browse some reddit. Can be slightly inconvenient when I need the bathroom and he's been in there for 1/2 an hour though.’ - Smiling_sycophant.
3. Ew.
‘That when taking a dump their penis can accidentally touch the rim of the toilet bowl. I had lived with a couple other dudes before my husband and never knew this was an issue. Then we bought a house and both of the toilets needed to be replaced. He spent a stupid amount of money at Home Depot on these toilets with elongated bowls and I was perplexed and irritated...until he explained why.’ - Metalmorphosis. Without_traverse responded and said: ‘It's called the Witch's Kiss’.
4. This is so true. All the time.
‘We've been living together for over a year now, and I think my girlfriend is still shocked at how often I have an erection. She'll say 'We just had sex! Why are you hard again??' and I'll just be like 'You were bending over...’ - erockd.
5. This is far more amusing than you'd imagine
'He can wiggle his penis.You know how some people can wiggle their ears, or just the tip of their nose? If we're laying around in bed, he sometimes 'waves' at me.I didn't know it could move that much on its own.' - Blueinjakat.
6. Hair, everywhere
‘There is a lot of shedding of body hair. I thought my head shed a lot but apparently his legs and chest and wherever else all these small dark hairs are coming from shed at least as much.’ - ibbity.
7. So apparently pee rugs are a thing
‘He wanted to get one of those little rugs that go around the toilet so he could "miss". Evidently he believed those rugs exist to be peed on.’ -purple-is-a-fruit-.
8. How roles can reverse...
‘Some men prefer having the seat and lid down. I'd always been a lid up kind of slob, and I was the one that had to change.’ - DoomLolly.
9. Excellent, glad we've cleared that one up
'That's not a stain from glue, lotion, or a hair product: that's semen.' - cookiebootz.
10. I think let them believe, they're all having a masculinity crisis already
'Despite his balding hair, he insists on buying voluminizing shampoo. Babe, that's not going to fix it.' - effexor.
Now here's Monica summing it all up perfectly for us:
Like this? You may also be interested in:
**
Follow Sarah on Twitter @sinclair_writes
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.