Presumably you woke up this Saturday, had a wee, ate a croissant and then had languorous shag in all those croissant crumbs. Because according to films, TV, books, magazines, your mates (and to be fair, us), we’re all having loads of amazing sex all the time. Except we’re not – because you’re reading this article, I’ve just finished writing it, and even if I did have a boyfriend, he’d probably have turned down my offer of weekend loving so he could get to the dump early, before it gets busy. Even my fictional relationship has become mundane.
Anyway, news in today reveals that people are having 20 per cent less sex than they were ten years ago, which anyone not actually having sex will already know.
The stats come from medical journal* The Lancet*, so should be fairly kosher. The study also claims that Tiredness, job stress, porn overexposure and technology in the bedroom all mean that though 48 per cent of us report having sex once a week, 13 per cent say it’s only once every six months, and 17 per cent do IT less than once every six months. In contrast, 95 per cent of people have said they would like to have sex every day. Presumably that’s the 95 per cent of people who never get cystitis.
Hurrah! It’s like the veil has been lifted from our eyes! The elephant in the room has been acknowledged! The wizard (of Oz) has been revealed to be a small middle-aged man! Now lets all admit we’re not getting laid and get on with our day…
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Pictures: Rex
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.