As mobile phones become more capable of replacing other marvels – cameras, computers, social interaction – we become less capable of separating ourselves from them, even when we should be focusing all of our attention on the person we’ve spent the whole day texting in order to arrange this current meet-up/mobile phone stand-off.
According to a recent survey by Talk Talk Mobile, nearly half of all people admitted to using their phone while on the toilet. And those are only the ones who’ve admitted it when pressed by a person doing a survey for a mobile phone company. That’s not the only thing that stinks – the survey identified that we have as many gripes about poor texting etiquette as there are emoji. From putting too many kisses at the end of a text to drunken texting, to comedy ringtones, WRITING IN CAPS and using abbrevs such as LOL, there are loads of problems to be had with the relatively new form of communication.
And that’s before you get onto the real problems – that people are far too distracted by doing all of these annoying texty things to um…sorry…what were you saying? Oh yes, we’re too busy texting to make proper actual conversation.
‘Mobile phones allow us to communicate instantly, with ease and spontaneity, but as the survey results show, consideration for others is essential for good mobile phone manners.’ Jo Bryant, etiquette expert at Debretts, has said. ‘People in the flesh deserve more attention than a gadget, so whenever possible do not allow your phone to distract you in face-to-face situations.’
Got it. But what other texting no-nos should you always avoid?
The ‘Are You Free Tonight’ text
Though, ostensibly, your friend is doing you a favour and just wants to hang out with you at very late notice because a) someone else has pulled out or b) something fantastic has cropped up c) they’ve just remembered you. But if you reply with a ‘nothing’, you’re potentially committing to whatever they want you to do. You could end up sipping cocktails for free at a rooftop bar, or you could end up at over at theirs, watching them fold clothes and complain about their landlord.
The ‘Read’ Function
It can be fantastic for your friends to see exactly when you’ve received their text – it can definitely save your back when you’re spending some rare time away from your phone and someone’s being a bit too needy. However, if you know people who are so needy they can’t bear for you to not reply within an hour of them sending a text, the moment you do check it, and they get that ‘read’ notification, you’d better reply, pronto. Which leads us on to…
Typing then not typing
The iPhone’s little speech bubble will pop up when you’re typing, to show that you’ve got your thumbs to the keyboard. But then sometimes it’ll just disappear, without any text message sent. Cue ‘what were you just typing?’ which basically shows you up to be incredibly paranoid. Also, there are times when the speech bubble sticks about for a good five minutes without any message ever being sent. Depending on who’s text-not-texting you, this can be more frustrating than a front-wedgie on a packed tube.
**The ‘speak soon’/’wait a second’/’I’m busy’ **
Don’t announce it. If you want to get in touch, you’ll get in touch. Text us or don’t text us. Why bother texting if you’re so busy you can’t actually text? We won’t be offended if you just stop responding, because it would, at the very least, prove that you’re actually too busy right now.
Memes
Why anyone would go to the trouble of saving a meme and then sending it to you, especially over WhatsApp, where it automatically downloads onto your phone, leaving no space in your camera roll for the photos you actually want to take, is frankly, beyond us.
The so-ironic-it-makes-no-sense text
Even though it's easier to meet an estate agent with a conscience than it is to meet someone who still uses credit on their phone, there is no reaosn whatsoever to use txt spk. So when we do do it with our m8s is bcos it is lol. We might be doing it ironically, or even just to save time. However, it saves no-one any time if the text is simply words stripped of their vowels. Because by the time you decipher what it means - by way of a few more exchanged texts - well, you've saved no time at all. Seriously, this is the type of shit Morrissey would get upset about if he wasn't still so saddened by meat.
The group text
Organised for a one-off meet-up between old friends, it's now used as a sounding board for every single boast each member of the group wishes to make. And every time you get a message your phone makes a noise, so you turn your phone onto silent. But then, with your phone on silent, you keep on checking it, just in case you miss a message. So you spend your day wasted constantly flipping then unflipping your phone. Basically, the group text, as open and friendly as it seems, linking you to so many people at once, is actually one certain way to secure your own isolation.
Getting a text from an email address
What even IS that?!
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.