Oh hi, heard the one about the charmer who dumped his girlfriend on Instagram then bagged himself 18,000 followers? It goes like this: Rather than opt for the traditional method of breaking somebody’s heart – via text message, which is the standard for more than half of us – instead, US high school student @cjkarl11 got busy with the crop tool and simply cut his former girlfriend out of the picture. Who said romance was dead?
Yep, that's right. Jumping on the hashtag #TransformationalTuesday – usually reserved for gym bunnies sharing before and after workout snaps – this lad opted for another kind of before (with girlfriend) and after (wait, where did she go?). The Insta-dump is the new form of dumping – and brings with it maximum public humiliation.
Unsurprisingly, the girlfriend wasn’t best pleased and later deleted most of her social accounts. He, on the other hand, started trending and racked up more than 18,000 followers. We know. Figure that one out.
Or don’t. But either way, if you’re thinking of breaking it off with whoever you’re dating right now, choose your anti-social method wisely.
Twitter The humble unfollow feels a bit… meh. Miley and Liam Hemsworth already did that. Next! If you really want to pack a punch, make for the block button then set your feed to private. Denied. Or here’s an idea: Tweet your most flattering pre-relationship single selfie and #ThrowbackThursday it to remind everyone you did actually exist before you became one half of a couple. Duh.
Facebook Is there anything sadder than that little broken heart icon flashing up in your feed to announce someone’s new-found singledom? Yes, a de-friend. Probably better for your sanity in the long run – the temptation to profile stalk increases tenfold when it’s an ex (probably) – but wiping an ex from Facebook can lead to a gaping hole on your feed.
Instagram Everything looks better with an Earlybird wash, right? Tell that to the girl cropped out of her boyfriend’s Instagram snap. If cropping isn’t your thing, there might be only one other option: Delete. Those #aftersex selfies you and your soon-to-be-ex took? Not such a fun idea now.
Snapchat This is dumping for the indecisive. Opt for this method if you’re still not 100 per cent sure you want to end this thing. If you wake up with a hangover realising you’ve made a terrible mistake and you want them back, the disappearing declaration of dumping can be passed off as fat thumbs or something. After all, there’s no evidence. Now, where were we?
What’sApp A Spanish study showed 54 per cent of people had used WhatsApp to split up with a short-term lover. Cowards. But there’s something to be said for diluting the sense of awks that a face-to-face encounter might bring. Delete the number and it's job done. ‘Online’ ‘Offline’ Who even cares?
Follow Tracy on Twitter @tracy_ramsden
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.