Couples on social media. The subject of much ridicule and the cause for many an argument. Everyone will say these arguments are silly - and they are - but it's also an undeniable sticking point for socially savvy beaux across the land.
How much should you post your new 'friend' on social media? How soon should you post them? Can you post pictures with other people? All of these 'shoulds' and 'cans' are a load of rubbish really - only you know your relationship and only the pair of you will know what makes you both comfortable... but the 'social' bit of social media means that of course there are other people involved in the process.
For me, going public on a relationship is a big deal. Not even due to shyness particularly, but because you're opening up your relationship to scrutiny and your heart to a more public breaking if something goes horribly wrong. Look at Taylor Swift, the media's most popular dating example; she dates, she loves, she breaks up, and it becomes one of her biggest features. How often do people find love at 21 and stay with that person forever? But dating multiple people in the space of a few years? Shocking!
Luckily people don't give half that many hoots about me - but even so, when I first posted my boyfriend on Instagram I awkwardly asked him first if that was okay. It's one of my most favourite conversations (the ones that make me sound like a total dick, yaaaay) but I knew that once I'd posted there would be people stalking his profiles, making fake ones or just generally digging around. Whether or not your potential Facebook stalkers are strangers or just your friends, how do you decide when it's time to unleash the wrath of the internet..?
How does this couple coming out occur? Is it just posting pictures of you together? Is it (cringe) a formal announcement of your new love? When do you go Facebook official? One of my coupled up tech milestones came when I realised I had drunkenly deleted my dating apps. I DON'T NEED YOU ANY MORE TINDER. I'VE HAD SOME COCKTAILS AND REALISED HE'S THE ONE.
Once you're a fully fledged, online official COUPLE there's a whole lot more politics to deal with between you. Some people are super laid back and don't think that much about your content schedule, but others will take it personally if you're not posting about them or waxing lyrical about your lazy Sunday afternoon. I'd like to think I'm the former, but I'm no angel - I've definitely questioned the meaning behind a Facebook comment and had to have a serious word with myself.
Basically, the thing to remember is that everyone has a different relationship with social media and different ways of thinking about what it means. Like most things in a relationship I suppose, it's important to actually listen to your partner's thoughts on it - just because you think it's silly to get upset about a tweet you've liked, doesn't mean they haven't been genuinely hurt by it. If you're the one who's taken offence then I guess you just have to broach the subject. If you're explaining your thoughts and they're making fun of it or not listening to what you're saying then their social media behaviour isn't their biggest problem...
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.