It might be 2015, but there’s still a lot of negative chat about one-night stands. Like the old adage that as a woman you’re just going to lie there crying silently while being finger-banged by someone who hasn’t cut their nails in months.
See also: the idea that they’ll never lead anywhere. That you’ll never ‘convert’ a ONS (one night stand) into a relationship. Because all women want is to be loved, and all men want to do is have as much sex as they possibly can before they’re tricked into settling down with one of those aforementioned women.
But actually, ACTUALLY one night stands can turn into relationships more regularly than you might think. According to one study, 27% of respondents had had a one-night stand that led to a relationship. And anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher argues casual sex can reinforce long-term attachment, allowing us to assess how sexually compatible we are with someone before building a emotional connection with them.
Anyways, enough of the science. Here are three couples who hooked up on the first night they met, and stayed together...
The one where he accidentally sexted her Dad
Lydia, PR manager, 23, and Nathan, roofer, 25. They’ve been dating for three years.
Tell me how you met.
Lydia: I was at uni, and we went on a random night out. We got chatting to Nathan’s friends in the smoking area, and then they were like, ‘Do you want to see Nathan’s abs’ and pulled up his T-shirt. He was really embarrassed.
Nathan: I was so drunk that night, I was in a really bad way. I don’t remember meeting her to be honest. I had to work the next day though, and I was so hungover.
Do you remember seeing each other for the first time?
Lydia: Yeah, I thought he was fit but quite drunk. I remember his friends were all quite loud and he was a bit more reserved, so he caught my eye.
Nathan: Honestly, I couldn’t really remember what she looked like afterwards. When we met up a couple of days later I was worried I wasn’t going to recognise her.
Was it awkward after?
Lydia: It was really normal in the morning, it wasn’t awkward at all. I’d never actually had a one night stand before, but it was bizarre, it just felt really natural.
Nathan: I’m awkward anyway! But on the scale of things it was fine. Obviously, you normally do it the other way around, you sleep with them after you get to know them. To be honest though, it kind of made it less awkward because we’d already slept together so there wasn’t any tension.
When did you realise it was getting serious?
Lydia: He left his belt at my house so he came around to pick it up a few days later. It just progressed from there. It was probably about two weeks of dating each other, and then we were official. No mind games or anything.
Nathan: To be honest, I still haven’t realised it’s got serious. [Laughs]. What did she say?! Whatever she said. [Laughs].
Have you been open with your friends and family about how you met?
Lydia: I didn’t tell my parents, but I told my sisters. But then about a year into our relationship it came up and I had to explain that it was a one night stand to my Dad. But he just laughed it off.
Nathan: I told my parents. About two weeks into the relationship, actually, I did something really bad. I texted Lydia and her phone was linked up to her dad’s iCloud or something, and it went through to him. Anyway, I texted her something really bad, and he rung me up and was like, who is this?
OMG what did you text her?
Nathan: Am I allowed to tell her? [They confer]. Yeah, I texted, ‘I can’t wait to fuck you silly later’. And that went to her old man. It was really bad.
What you going to tell the grandkids?
Lydia: We’ll be like, that’s how people met back in the day… they went out clubbing!
The one where they got fried chicken
Lily and Mischa, both students, 20. They’ve been together for a year.
Tell me how you met.
Lily: I was out drinking with my lacrosse team in the student union. My flatmate Jen was there with some of her friends including Mischa, and we all decided to go clubbing. But the club wouldn’t let me in because I didn’t have any ID, so I left. Mischa was like, “You can’t walk home by yourself”. So she started walking me home, and before we’d even walked 20 metres we were getting with each other. It’s all a bit blurry, although I remember we got fried chicken on the way. [Laughs]. Anyway, we got to my bedroom and Mischa turned around for a second and when she turned back I’d, like, stripped off all my clothes and was ready to go!
Do you remember seeing each other for the first time?
Lily: No.
Mischa: Yeah, I do although I thought she was a bit crazy to be honest. She’d actually jumped in a taxi I was sharing with some friends a few weeks earlier, though she doesn’t remember. I was sober because I was doing dry January. She was drunk and talking rubbish in the taxi. But I thought she was pretty.
Was it awkward afterwards?
Lily: It was OK actually. I was a lot more hungover than Mischa, I was dying. It wasn’t awkward though, otherwise I would’ve made up some excuse to leave.
Mischa: It was good. When I left, I texted her because I’m not the sort of person to sleep with someone and not text them the next day.
Did you have any expectations of it progressing into anything more?
Lily: I thought it was going to be a one night stand, I didn’t think anything of it.
Mischa: I thought maybe we’d be fuck buddies.
When did you realise it was getting serious?
Lily: We started hanging out. But really, it was Homeland that brought us together. We watched loads of Homeland together! Homeland and fried chicken was basically the basis of our relationship. [Laughs].
Mischa: Probably it was serious for me when I invited her out on my birthday a few months later.
Have you been open with your friends and family about how you met?
Lily: Mischa’s been the first girl I’ve told my mum about. We’re really open with our friends about how it happened.
Mischa: I told my mum how we met, I’m open about it.
The Tinder one night stand
Charlotte, financial adviser, 26, and Andy, analyst, 25. They have been together nine months.
How did you meet?
Charlotte: We were chatting on Tinder. It was just after Christmas, like the twenty-something of January.
Andy: 30th January.
[They laugh].
Charlotte: We went for drinks and spent about 200 quid on gin. I don’t think I’ve ever been that hammered before, to be honest. We went to a couple of bars, then got in a taxi and went back to mine.
Andy: You forgot the bit where you kicked off at the taxi driver.
Charlotte: I don’t remember that bit.
[They laugh].
How did you feel when you saw each other for the first time?
Andy: She was cool. Chatty. We seemed to get on pretty well from the start.
Charlotte: I remember thinking, this guy would benefit from facial hair. And then he brought up that first night how much he doesn’t like having facial hair. Now he has facial hair. [Laughs].
Was it awkward afterwards?
Charlotte: I was just so hungover… and then I woke up and was like, fuck what are you doing here! It was a bit awkward.
Andy: She rolled over and was like, oh shit, you’re here! It probably didn’t stop being awkward until I left.
[They laugh].
When did you realise it was getting serious?
Charlotte: I went around to his house for dinner on the second date, which was quite intimate almost, a bit full on. Also the fact that we’d had sex before meant there was a bit more pressure on us to have sex again, so it felt quite intense.
Andy: It probably felt more serious around the third or fourth date, as I actually knew her a bit better by then.
Have you been open with people about how you met?
Charlotte: We don’t really tell people we had sex on the first night because people don’t really ask. I’m cool with it, though.
Andy: Mostly I just say we met on Tinder because lots of people do now. But it’s not really an issue.
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Picture: Eylul Aslan
Follow Sirin on Twitter @TheDalstonYears
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.