So you're moving out, and you've got to clear it out. Or you're making room for someone else to move in. Or it's just there is so much in there, it's making groaning noises – like it's over-indulged, crippled by indigestion and trying very hard not to explode.
Whatever the reason for clearing out your cupboard, there are times when it's unavoidable. But that doesn't make it easy.
In fact, it is extremely difficult. Because clearing out your cupboard is the most emotional and traumatic experience imaginable. Think we're exaggerating? We're not.
Here, we explore why...
1. Everything Is Wanted. Everything.
The items in your wardrobe are like children. You can't keep some and not others, because you love them all equally.
And just because they've gotten a bit old, a bit boring, and there are a few too many of them now, you are expected to throw them away?
No.
Comprende? No.
2. Coathangers
You don't really notice them when they're doing their job. But, ha, just you wait till they're off-duty.
You fling them out your closet in a frenzy, and they just lie there in a tangled heap on the floor.
A heap which gets bigger and bigger.
Until suddenly, it's bigger than you...
...and starts wobbling, DEAR GOD IT'S ALIVE.
And it's coming to get you...
**3. Helpful People And Their 'Helpful' Comments **
It always seems like a good idea to recruit someone to assist you with the Herculean task of closet-clearing. And yes, it is a good idea – in theory.
But in practice, only a fool would suggest it.
Because helpful people like to make 'helpful' comments. And when that happens, this happens:
Helpful Person: 'When was the last time you wore that?'
You...
HP: 'Here's a bright idea! If you don't want to chuck it, give it to charity!'
You...
HP: 'I'll throw it away when you're not looking. You won't even miss it.'
You...
As you have surmised, none of their comments are welcome. None of them at all.
**4. Things Come Back Into Fashion **
One of the reasons you are so reluctant to throw anything away is because fashions may come and go, yes, but they come back again.
Which of course means you must keep everything just in case.
Because if you don't, there will be no such thing as 'vintage'.
And just imagine what that would be like...
**5. You Know You Can't Live Without Them **
In a rare moment of courage, you might suddenly decide to toss an unwanted item into the bin.
'Ha! That was easy!' you think.
Well, enjoy that thought while it lasts.
Because the severity of your actions will eventually hit you...
And it will strike with unparallelled force...
... suddenly you'll do *anything *you can to retrieve it...
... ANYTHING...
And the reason for that is because you know this to be true:
6. Clothes Have Feelings
It's a fact you're never more certain of than when you're cupboard clearing.
You find yourself staring at that Care Bears T-shirt, for instance – the one from the Eighties, so small now it's practically a bra.
You mull over the idea of binning it, but you can't, YOU JUST CAN'T.
Because you'll royally hurt its feelings.
'Don't throw me away!' it sniffs. 'I've got so much love left to give...'
That's the moment you realise what needs to be done. Suddenly it's so wonderfully simple!
Helpful Person: Not buy so much in the first place?
You...
HP: Throw stuff out every year?
HP: Get your mother to do it for you (she's ruthless in a clear-out)?
No.
What you very obviously need to do is this:
BUY A BIGGER WARDROBE.
[All gifs from GIPHY.com]