It is not often the case that I wish I could sit in on a Downing Street meeting, but the one where some dude mansplained to the actual Prime Minister? For that one, I would travel back to 1986 and go through Jeff Goldblum’s freaky machine, just so I could be a fly on that No 10 wall.
This week, The Times reported on an ‘incident’ at Theresa May’s pad, where a national security advisor, Sir Mark Lyall Grant (even his name sounds like he’s patronising you, doesn’t it?), ‘got into a lot of trouble’ for mansplaining to the prime minister during a meeting.
They explained, ‘No 10 is understood to have taken umbrage at male politicians, officials, diplomats and even journalist who talk over, patronise or fail to listen to the prime minister.’
DON’T YOU JUST LOVE IT.
The pomposity of it! The arrogance of that man, to think he can condescend to the highest office in the UK.
Tory MP Nadine Dorries went on in the article to say, ‘We are very used to men talking over us or looking at us with glazed eyes because all they are really interested in is what they have to say, acting with a complete lack of self-awareness… The prime minister will certainly have been well used to it from her time at the Home Office, and seen it a million times. She might have expected that it would stop when she entered No 10...’
Since I’m not a fly and I wasn’t there, I can only gleefully imagine how that meeting went down:
Theresa May: That Donald Trump, eh? He wants us to give Nigel Farage an ambassadorial role. He must think we’re a bunch of…
Mark Lyall Grant: Come on my dear, that’s enough now, let me speak. Good God you talk a lot.
Theresa May: Excuse me? I…
Mark Lyall Grant: Could you bring it down a pitch or two? Isn’t she shrill, lads?
Theresa May: What is…
Mark Lyall Grant: Listen to me dear, you clearly haven’t grasped the situation. Donald Trump has just been elected as the next president in America, my dear. These lads here understand that, don’t you lads?
Theresa May: Yes, I’m aware of…
Mark Lyall Grant: Gracious me, could I POSSIBLY get a word in here? I’m trying to explain this to you, my dear. DONALD TRUMP IS THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
Theresa May: I know that.
Mark Lyall Grant: No, listen to me. He tweeted – that’s something you do on TWITTER, my dear – that he wants Nigel Farage as a UK ambassador.
Theresa May: Quite.
Mark Lyall Grant: Nigel Farage is the leader of that Ukip party, dear, are you following me?
Theresa May: [silence]
Mark Lyall Grant: Nothing to say? Women! All they want to do is gossip gossip gossip, and when you actually offer them a chance to contribute to a proper conversation, they sit there looking moody. The menopause, is it, my dear? Oh well, never mind, I’m sure you’re thrilled to be wearing exciting shoes again today.
Theresa May: [slits his throat].
That would just be my guess at what went down. Like I said, I wasn’t there, but I imagine it’s pretty accurate. And has anyone seen this Mark Lyall Grant in the days since? I don’t know what he looks like, but I assume he is white and old, so let’s all keep an eye out around parliament for someone who looks like that.
It’s been a big week for mansplaining – and if you’re not familiar with the term, do feel free to stop what you’re doing and go ask a man to help you – as Sweden also announced the launch of a mansplaining hotline. It’s designed to field calls from people who feel talked down to at work, and has been organised by Unionen, the country’s biggest union. The phone line will be run by gender experts, feminist politicians, scientists and comedians, all ready to give advice on how to handle morons we’ve all dealt with in our working lives.
It was a move I really enjoyed, not because I think it’s particularly necessary, but because I like it when things like this come along and upset a certain section of the internet. I like it when people shout about PC GONE MAD and I liked the indignant articles that ensued, complaining of women ‘wallowing in victimhood’ and pointing out the sexism towards men. But don’t worry about these ‘female stories’ garnering too much attention, because 78% of all front page articles are still written by men and 84% of those mentioned or quoted in lead articles are still always men – phew!
Of course, we probably don’t particularly need a mansplaining ‘hotline’, but this is more about getting the issue out there and talked about. To maybe make men think twice before they talk over their female colleague or explain her job to her again. Research shows over and over that gender politics play out in the office. We live in a society that tells women they must be nice above all else, because being forthright and assertive will be perceived as bossy or bitchy. It means we don’t speak up when we’re interrupted, or when others takes credit for our ideas. We downplay our achievements, we don’t apply for jobs or promotions in the same way as men, we underestimate our own intelligence and we too often sit there passively when we’re being told something we already know.
Talking about mansplaining – even laughing about it – means we’re raising awareness of a real problem. So be inspired and take a leaf out of Theresa May’s book. Let it be known that you know what you’re doing and you won’t be patronised. And if they won’t listen, you might have to Maysplain it to them.
Follow Lucy Vine on Twitter @lecv
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