I suppose it's a fairly basic human instinct to want to cover up bad things, isn’t it? To want to hide the things we don't want to think about or look at.
But seriously?
This week a popular daytime TV show in Morocco called Sabahiyat – something like their version of This Morning – aired a segment on disguising the signs of domestic violence, with the help of a bit of concealer.
Set to some cheerful music, make-up artist Lilia Mouline explains how to ‘camouflage traces of violence.’ She goes on pleasantly: ‘Make sure to use loose powder to fix the make-up so if you have to work throughout the day, the bruises don’t show… We hope these beauty tips will help you carry on with your daily life.’
How are we here?
People were understandably dismayed and the show producers quickly pulled the ‘beauty tutorial’ from their website. But Mouline defended the piece, saying, ‘We are here to provide solutions to these women ... These women have already been subjected to moral humiliation and do not need to also have others looking at them. Make-up allows women to continue to live normally while waiting for justice.’
While waiting for justice? Live normally? This is all so dismissive I want to scream. She’s talking like domestic violence situations are easily resolved. Like every woman in a violent situation just calls the police, dabs on a bit of foundation, and then gets on with her day.
It’s literally never that simple. And making it out to be does nobody any favours.
As Amber Heard said in an emotional video for the #GirlGaze project this week, ‘It happens to so many women. When it happens in your home, behind closed doors with someone you love, it’s not straightforward.’
I don’t know what the stats on violence against women are like in Morocco, but I know that here, things are dire. Women’s Aid launched their Femicide Census last week, revealing that in seven years, an eye watering 936 women have been murdered by men. 64% by current or former partners, 8% by their sons. We have endemic rates of violence and harassment, and charities are not given the resources they need to help effectively.
Just this week, during her leadership speech, Sophie Walker of the Women’s Equality Party admitted that, ‘Violence against women in this country is an epidemic’. She pointed out how ‘life saving services are on their knees’ with two out of three women in need turned away every day, as report after report shows gendered violence is increasing.
We are sentencing another generation of women to silence, trapping them in their abusive relationships. And with stupid, ignorant ideas like these making it onto mainstream telly, we are telling victims that they must be silent about their bruises. That it is just part of life. That they must get on with it, without making a fuss.
Polly Neate, Chief Executive of Women’s Aid, tells me, ‘How can putting make-up over the marks of physical domestic abuse be presented as part of a beauty routine? Yet again, it reinforces the notion that it is up to the survivor to cover up for the perpetrator’s actions. It is extremely dangerous to normalise domestic abuse in this way – and deeply concerning that there is an appetite for this kind of content.’
We are currently in the midst of the annual 16 Days of Action, that follow the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. And the need for that action has never been starker. If you want to help right now, the Istanbul Convention is coming to Parliament on 16 December. Don't let the name alienate you, it matters to each of us. It’s the first international treaty to make domestic violence and VAWG (Violence Against Women and Girls) illegal, and protect the rights of survivors. It was signed in 2012 but still hasn’t been ratified, which means it’s currently meaningless. We need our government to commit to providing services and support. Women’s Aid are imploring us to write to our MPs about the Bill. Visit womensaid.org.uk for more info.
It is something small, but it is something. The situation right now is a mess and we cannot afford to keep getting this so badly wrong. We are letting women down and it’s time to stop putting make-up on these issues, to hide them from public view.
Follow Lucy on Twitter @lecv
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