HEY EVERYONE LOOK OVER HERE. I have an important announcement to make. Mum, Dad, you there? It’s time to start saving for that wedding you’ve long been praying for. Are you listening, Facebook friends I’ve never spoken to in real life? Get your ‘like’ finger ready for a whole lot of clicking because I have a status update that is going to blow your tiny, tiny minds.
Here goes: I’ve finally found The One. At last, I’ve met the person of my dreams. I’m in a relationship, and this person is the absolute best – THE BEST.
I’m here today to say I’m in a committed relationship with myself.
YEAH YOU HEARD ME.
Watch our interview with Bella Hadid here
OK, so, yes, I’m literally just copying Bella Hadid. But that’s the whole point of celebrities, isn’t it? They exist to be obsessively copied. And if she can do it, so can I.
On Monday, the 20-year-old supermodel tweeted: ‘Just to be clear...I'm STILL not dating any of my best friends, y'all! In a committed relationship with myself & my happiness for now’.
Congratulations Bella! I hope you’ll be as happy in your new relationship as I am.
I had a Google (I’m also in a committed relationship with Google because my relationship with myself is committed but also non-monogamous), and it turns out the internet is pretty obsessed with who Bella might be dating. It desperately wants to know who she might’ve ‘moved on’ with since her relationship with singer The Weeknd ended last year. It cannot comprehend that she might just be fine and happy alone.
This latest tweet was referring to pictures of her hugging her friend, DJ Daniel Chetrit in the street the other day, and all the ensuing online commotion going, ‘Oooooh, Bella and Daniel sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ (I’m paraphrasing, but you get it). She was also linked with a model called Jordan Barrett only a few weeks ago, and, I think, basically any man she’s dared to breathe near since her break up.
You can understand why she’s getting a bit fed up with it.
I might not be a much-photographed celebrity with glorious legs that can only have been created via a pact with the devil, but I get that stupid single-scrutiny too. I’ve been on/off single for years now and I field constant, confused questions about it.
The single fact of it is, I’m single because I’m happier that way. I am yet to meet anyone who makes me as happy as being on my own makes me. That’s all there is to it.
But no one accepts that. Everyone wants a bigger, wider explanation for my singleness. Everyone wants to know if I’m dating – if I’m ‘putting myself out there’ enough. Everyone wants to know if my standards are ‘too high’. And holy moly, Batman, heaven forbid I have a single, male friend without everyone pointedly asking me ‘what’s going on there’.
Bella is no doubt bored of this, but I think her tweet was actually about more than just answering back to the single-shamers. It’s also a reminder that we could all do with paying more attention to ourselves. We so often end up bottom of the list behind work, family, friends, pets – that half-eaten cheese sandwich over there.
I find those terms, ‘self-love’ and ‘self-care’ to be deeply cheesy, but they are also hugely important sentiments, because we forget to do it. We need to start putting ourselves first and looking after ourselves. And that matters more and more in this weird dark world we live in.
So, sure, we can all have a good laugh at the idea of being in a ‘committed relationship with yourself’ (and I endorse laughing about everything possible because I’m in a committed relationship with laughing at myself) (I’m also in a committed relationship with this joke), but it’s also worth taking a bit of the message away with you.
Even if you’re already in a relationship with another person, it is always worth checking where you stand with you. Are you treating you well? When did you last buy you something thoughtful? Is it time for a date night with you? Have a think about it.
Oh, and if you’re reading this, Bella – me and me are up for a double date ANY time.
Lucy’s book, Hot Mess, Orion is available to buy now at amazon.co.uk.
Follow Lucy on Twitter at @lecv.
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