Set to be the next must-watch series from Disney+, Dying For Sex is based on an inspiring true story. The raunchy comedy-drama stars Michelle Williams as podcaster Molly Kochan, who chose to end her 13-year marriage to embark on a sexual journey after being diagnosed with incurable breast cancer.
Ahead of the show’s debut on Friday 4 April, we look at the real story behind the series…
Who is Molly Kochan?
New Yorker Molly Kochan was 33 when she found a lump in her breast in 2005, but her fears were dismissed by a doctor who told her that she was too young to have cancer. In a blog she started when she found out her cancer was terminal, Kochan wrote, ‘I was meek, I was afraid to assert myself and truthfully I probably didn’t want to know it was something.’
By the time she was diagnosed in 2011, the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. Chemotherapy and radiation treatments, followed by a double mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery, left Kochan infertile and took a toll on her sex life with her husband.
In August 2015, Kochan – then aged 42 – found another lump, this time under her arm. It led to the diagnosis that the cancer had spread to her bones, brain and liver and was stage 4 and incurable. ‘I am not ready to die. I’ve already dealt with breast cancer and never thought it would come back. It did,’ she blogged. ‘I go back and forth between hope and despair. I always thought that a diagnosis like this would push me into figuring out exactly what kind of mark I want to leave on the world. It hasn’t done that… yet.’
Within six months, she left her husband ‘to seek joy’ and ‘nurture self-expression that I couldn’t find in the context of my marriage’. ‘I left my husband today. I chose to do it for my health,’ she wrote on 28 March 2016. ‘Sexually, we had difficulties before cancer came along. Right before I got diagnosed, I was kind of looking to recharge our sex life… and then cancer showed up.’
Kochan started dating within weeks, which was ‘wonderful but exhausting’. She sent sexy selfies of herself in lingerie to men she met online and was introduced into a world of kinks and fetishes – all while undergoing cancer treatment.
Kochan documented her sexual adventures through her Dying For Sex podcast with her best friend Nikki Boyer. 'For her, sex was a way to reconnect with and reclaim her body, after being abused when she was seven. She stopped counting her sexual encounters after reaching 183,' Boyer said in an interview with The Times.
‘There was healing of old wounds. Her whole life she felt fragmented and during sex she was allowed to make her own choices and put the pieces together for herself.
‘She made people feel seen and cared for. It was about a lot more than the sex for Molly. Towards the end I think she was looking for love.’
And while she never found romantic love with another person, Kochan revealed that her sexual adventures gave her a new sense of assurance. ‘I realise I did get to fall in love. I am in love. With me,’ she said.
Sadly, Kochan died on 8 March 2019, at the age of 45. The podcast was released by Wondery in 2020, a year after her death. It quickly became a hit. One memorable date, which makes for a comedic scene in the show, saw Kochan with a twenty-something screenwriter who climaxed on someone’s immaculately manicured garden as they played around in his car – which then set off another car alarm, causing him further embarrassment.
In the final months of her life, Kochan wrote her memoir Screw Cancer: Becoming Whole, which was published in August 2020.
Who is Molly Kochan’s ex-husband?
Kochan met her husband, a waiter at one of her favourite cafes she frequented with Boyer, after she moved to Los Angeles. ‘They were great together for a while,’ Boyer said.
His real identity remains anonymous. In the TV show, he is named Steve and played by Jay Duplass. ‘I think he’s probably struggling with parts of the story that didn’t feel they matched up with what he had experienced. I care for him. I wish him so much love,’ Boyer said.
Is Molly Kochan still alive?
Sadly not. Molly died on 8 March 2019, at the age of 45. ‘I am already defined – defined by my kindness and empathy and the way I choose to live my life every day,’ she wrote before her death.
‘My ability to navigate murky emotional waters and connect profoundly to other people, while may not win me an award or notoriety, is how I exist in this world. It’s how I have always been and how I will exit. And I am suddenly OK with that. I know what brought me joy.’
Dying For Sex airs on Disney+ on 4 April