Don’t Blame The Women In The Tinder Swindler

It's cruel, unfair and sexist to imply that Cecilie, Pernilla or Ayleen should have known better.

Tinder swindler

by Bonnie McLaren |
Updated on

By now, hundreds of thousands of people will know the story of Simon Leviev - also known as the Tinder Swindler. Due to wild WTF moments and buzz on social media, since it dropped last week, the documentary has become the most watched show in the UK on Netflix. Throughout the feature film, we discover that Leviev isn't actually the son of a billionaire, who is conning women left, right and centre.

Thankfully, the documentary is firmly on the victims' side, showing bit by bit how they were duped into believing that not only Leviev was real, but a committed boyfriend. But as comes with the territory when allegedly scamming numerous women to pay for his luxurious lifestyle, he was also cheating on his partners. (In the documentary, we discover that Leviev had said he wanted to move in with Cecilie, while at the same time, Ayleen also believed she was going to live with him and was looking for flats.)

While the documentary might have been on the team of Leviev's partners Cecilie, Ayleen and friend Pernilla, many of the comments on social media still aren't kind. The programme covered some of the trolling Cecilie and Pernilla were subject to after the original story broke, - after Cecilie approached the Norwegian newspaper VG - and it seems people still haven't learned that the women are not at fault.

Not only is it mean to make these comments, and shows an incredible lack of empathy for the horrific experiences the women went through - but it's also not fair. Whatever you think, it's not fair game they were conned. The blame lies solely at Simon Leviev's feet. And it's sexist to imply that the women were dumb for trusting him, when he was the one spinning numerous lies for his own financial gain.

The truth is, you never know how you'd act in a situation like that until you're in it. And I doubt any of the women thought they would ever get conned. (Many people are asking why a billionaire would even be on Tinder, but when some A-listers, like Charlize Theron and Zac Efron, have been on Tinder - it really isn't that impossible.) And unlike many romance scams which happen solely on the internet, they were dealing with a man who had not only fooled them online, but had duped them in real life by taking them on crazily lavish dates. When Simon asked them for money - to protect him from his so-called 'enemies', after he'd sent images of his bodyguard 'hurt' - it's easy to see why they believed a. that he was in danger and b. that he could pay them back.

But, even though, personally, I can understand how the women were conned - regardless, it doesn't matter how plausible Simon's lies, and endless voice notes, were. In any romance con, no matter how nonsensical or farcical it seems that someone has believed it, the one in the wrong is whoever is doing the scam. Women can't be blamed for thinking the best of people, or wanting to believe in love. Unfortunately, there just happens to be a minority of men who are like Shimon Hayut.

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