It’s about time something was written for those of us who haven’t given in to the temptations of Netflix.
Yes, I know streaming is like a big deal or whatever and it’s where all the best shows are, apparently. BUT with so much free (with a TV license I already have, by the way) entertainment on offer, it seems strange to pay monthly, no?
Contrary to popular belief, there are a few of us who don't have a £7.99 subscription. Here are some of the things you'd only know if you don't either...
1. Everyone speaks a foreign language
People are always talking about someone called Eleven, orange being the new black and houses of cards. It's confusing.
You just have to smile, nod and pretend you have a clue what they are on about while planning which black and white movie you will watch next on BBC iPlayer.
2. You get resourceful
In your free time you switch between the All 4, BBC iPlayer and ITV Be apps trying to find something to watch while you eat dinner. It's stressful and takes a while but you'll soon get into the habit of opening all three in different tabs for speedy rotation while your food gets cold.
Sometimes you stumble upon a gem like New Girl, Brooklyn Nine-Nine or The Goldbergs, but sometimes you're stuck with Kendra On Top or The Real Housewives of Cheshire. It's a mixed bag. But you learn to get used to it.
3. You watch a LOT of Big Bang Theory
This show is literally on all day every day on All 4, so you get to know about Leonard Hofstadter and his lactose intolerance, Sheldon Cooper and his obsession with his spot on the sofa, and Raj Koothrappali and his selective mutism and women troubles.
These guys become your friends. Your best friends. Because all your IRL ones are off somewhere else Netflix and Chilling...
4. You don’t really understand what Netflix and Chill means
What's with all the awkward laughter? It’s literally just the act of watching something while also 'chilling' right? So All 4 and Chill works? Right? No? Oh.
5. You rarely open your laptop at home
In fact, it’s gathering dust. Because the (relatively) big screen is reserved for films and All 4 ain't really about that life.
Your iPad however is constantly charged, has a whole folder full for aforementioned apps you switch between – including the Box Plus app for ancient episodes of Love And Hip Hop Hollywood.
READ MORE: Here's How To Follow The Cast Of Stranger Things On Snapchat
Here's how to follow the Stranger Things cast on Snapchat
1 of 11Millie Bobby Brown Snapchat:
Eleven is a mysterious young girl with psychokinetic powers. She was found in the woods by Mike and his friends, the day after their friend Will disappeared. To start off with, the character doesn't talk much – but her acting is mesmerising to watch!
2 of 11Finn Wolfhard Snapchat: finnwolfhard
Mike Wheeler is like the leader of the pack. He's the driving force in finding his friend Will - with the help of Eleven.
3 of 11Caleb McLaughlin Snapchat: wise_man1013
Lucas Sinclair is Mike's childhood friend. He's also his neighbour and classmate! He's the apprehensive one and is unsure about Will collaborating with Eleven in the search for Will.
4 of 11Dacre Montgomery Snapchat: dacremontgomery
5 of 11Natalia Dyer Snapchat: N/A
Natalia plays Nancy Wheeler in the show, but she unfortunately doesn't have Snapchat - sorry about that!You can follow her on Instagram @nattyiceofficial and Twitter @NataliaDyer
6 of 11Charlie Heaten Snapchat: N/A
Charlie, who plays Jonathan Byers in the show, doesn't have Snapchat - but you can follow him on Instagram @charlie.r.heaton.
7 of 11Gaten Matarazzo Snapchat: N/A
Gaten (who plays Dustin) doesn't have Snapchat, but you can follow him on Instagram @gatenm123 and Twitter @GatenM123
8 of 11Noah Schnapp Snapchat: theschnappchat
Noah, who plays Will Byers, can be found on Snapchat under the username theschnappchat
9 of 11Joe Keery Snapchat: N/A
Joe Keery, who plays Steve Harringon, isn't on Snapchat - but can be found on Instagram @uncle_jezzy and Twitter @joe_keery
10 of 11Winona Ryder Snapchat
Winona Ryder doesn't actually have Snapchat or Twitter. In fact, she told Variety she thought Snapchat was some kind of snack."In Heathers we had the Snappy Snack Shack," she explained. "It was the 7-Eleven place. I thought [Snapchat] had something to do with food."
11 of 11Sadie Sink Snapchat: N/A
Sadie Sink, who plays Max in the show, doesn't have Snapchat - but you can follow her on Twitter @SadieSink and Instagram @sadiesink_
6. Binge watching is not a thing
There are so few episodes of each show on these non-Netflix apps, and there isn’t really an archive system, so you end up getting really into a show and then coming back to it, only to find that it’s not available anymore. Beloved programmes often come and go with no warning at all.
So, no, binge watching isn’t really a viable concept, but you can watch live TV on a lot of these other services too you know.
7. You’re £7.99 richer each month
Just think of all the amazing things you could do with that money – have a fancy lunch once a month, treat yourself to a glass of prosecco or have an extremely cheap takeaway.
8. You avoid Netflix leeches and awkward politics
You hear your friends and colleagues moaning about the people they gave their Netflix password to ages ago and, despite no longer having anything to do with these people, they still use the account. The politics of asking them to stop using it, or kicking them off by changing the password sounds awkward. Can't relate.
9. You don’t spend your commute looking at your phone
You sit next to people who are absorbed by shows on their phones, truly enthralled by the tiny characters on the tiny screens.
Meanwhile you’re either listening to a podcast while watching a man pick his nose, reading a book while being jostled by angry men in suits, or doing your makeup while the woman across from you watches you like a YouTube tutorial.
Follow Phoebe on Twitter @PhoebeParke
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.