Orange You Glad It’s Wednesday? The Wolf Of Wall Street

Orgies, Quaaludes and piles and piles of money. Wolf of Wall Street's FINALLY here

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by Jess Commons |
Published on

What's all this Wolf Of Wall Street stuff about then?

So, it’s Martin Scorsese’s latest directorial outing, featuring apple of our eye and stealer of our heart (for 18 years and counting) Leonardo Dicaprio. Oh Leo, so much <3.

What’s this film about?

It’s based on the memoir by Jordan Belfort about his life as a stockbroker, drug addict, sex pest and all round scumbag. Although that's probably not how he puts it.

Why such a big deal?

Erm, well it’s awards season. And it’s probably going to win a lot of them. Also, there’s a few points of controversy that have got tongues wagging. For starters, there’s a rape scene in it which – without too many spoilers – is one of many many sex scenes in the film that are anything but sexy. Candles in bumholes people, that’s all we’re saying. The film’s also been criticized for glorifying Belfort’s crimes. Throughout the '90s Jordan’s company Stratton Oakmont sold shares in worthless companies in order to drive up their value before selling them on. It’s estimated he cheated investors out of $200 million. He used that to buy (amongst other things) Coco Chanel’s yacht. Which he accidentally destroyed. #toplad.

What are the actual film critics saying?

Sky: 'The Wolf of Wall Street isn't a critique of the banking industry - Scorsese is holding a mirror up to society and inviting us to be entertained - yet appalled - by the hollow, shallow world we’ve created for ourselves.'

New York Times: 'An extended sequence in which Jordan and Donnie are so blitzed on Quaaludes that they can barely move is sure to join Mr. Scorsese’s greatest-hits reel.'

MTV: 'Leonardo DiCaprio’s portrayal of Wall Street’s playboy stockbroker is without doubt one of the greatest performances of his career. The Wolf of Wall Street is another classic from the legend that is Martin Scorsese. His latest triumph is outrageous, thrilling and bloody funny.'

Interesting. And what are we saying?

Putting aside Belmont’s questionable attitude towards women and his downright illegal and immoral business tactics, there’s no denying his life makes for interesting viewing. Between midget tossing, orgies, drug taking and lavish parties, the three-hour run time seems like 20 minutes. Margot Robbie is completely awesome as Belfort’s straight-talking Jersey-girl wife and Jonah Hill (with the creepiest set of teeth we’ve seen in a long time) is totally hilarious – even if some of his antics make your uni’s rugby lads look tame. Sure, sometimes there’s points where you feel like you’ve seen enough boob to last a lifetime, and you’ll absolutely build up a lifelong aversion to all involved in the finance industry, but go forth and see. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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