Part of what makes Netflix so wonderful is how multifaceted it is. This month, it scored a whopping 17 film nominations for the Golden Globes, including six for Marriage Story. But it is undoubtedly as committed to making bad films as it is great ones. As well as streaming an array of terrible Hallmark originals, it produces its very own dreadful companions in every genre: the widely panned thriller Secret Obsession, the horrifyingly bad horror The Open House and cringe-worthy rom-coms such as Falling Inn Love. Its many formulaic, twee offerings has left viewers wondering if Lifetime had secretly bought out the streaming service.
It’s like Netflix is mass-producing as many cliched, hackneyed films as possible, to fund its more serious offerings, which are actually seeking critical acclaim. There is an undeniable market - ‘best bad movies to stream on Netflix’ lists litter the internet daily, but it’s particularly obvious at Christmas. As integral to the Yuletide countdown as the John Lewis advert or an advent calendar, the arrival of the trailers for Netflix’s next God-awful Christmas-themed release is the millennial marker of the season.
In 2017, at the beginning of its bad-film boom, Netflix mocked a user for their guilty film pleasure: ‘To the 53 people who’ve watched A Christmas Prince every day for the past 18 days,’ read the tweet. ‘Who hurt you?’
Two years later, A Christmas Prince (a ludicrous tale of a savvy American journalist who falls for the sensitive Prince of a made-up European nation) has reached cult classic status and spawned two follow-up films, with A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby dropping this year. Other fan-favourites include A Christmas Inheritance, The Princess Switch and The Knight Before Christmas, a ridiculous and romantic tale of a modern woman rescued by a medieval knight who has been transported into the hustle and bustle of the present day.
Nothing is remotely subverted. The entirety of their appeal lies in their pure basicness.
Like similar films from Lifetime and Hallmark, these movies are aimed almost exclusively at women. When asked what exactly it is we want at Christmas, the streaming service’s answer has repeatedly been 'unapologetically dated romance films, with double the helping of cheese'. And they aren't necessarily wrong.
Almost all of them feel as if they were burped up by an algorithm: an overworked girl, probably played by Vanessa Hudgens, has some sort of hiccup that is inadvertently fixed by love, from a prince/knight/rugged farmhand she initially dislikes due to her underwritten city girl background. These 2019-era fairy tales have lost none of the tropes or casual stereotyping, but are a frankly welcome form of escapism. Nothing is remotely subverted – the only progression has been the introduction of slightly diverse protagonists, still depicting the exact same scenarios ad infinitum. The entirety of their appeal lies in their pure basicness - sure, the female protagonists are written as more sassy and savvy than previous heroines, but beyond that we’re quite happy for these films to remain suspended in an endless state of throwback, like artefacts in a museum. As times have got harder, safety has been found in childhood comforts: cartoons, colouring books and films beloved by grown adults that rival Disney in the saccharine stakes.
The latest entirely expected twist in the tale is that Netflix’s Holiday Movie Cinematic Universe has been confirmed: the films are all interlinked, fostering potential for endless crossovers. Netflix’s Christmas offerings are probably the one place were a lack of originality is not only welcome, but sought after. In these troubling times full of twists and turns, they are safe and perhaps most importantly, predictable. When thinking about the future is painful, they are mind-numbing and comforting. We’re all old enough to know that life’s problems won’t be solved by a boyishly handsome time-travelling Knight. We are cynical and shrewd enough to know that the likelihood of these relationships ending in a happy ever after in the real world is about as likely as, well, bumping into a time-travelling knight. But in this current state of uncertainty and division, their rise in itself is perhaps predictable – sometimes you just want to watch something where you categorically know everything is going to be OK.
More movies to watch this Christmas...
Grazia's Christmas Film Schedule
1 of 311 December: Elf
Maybe this is the basic choice for the first Christmas film of the season, but we don't think so. There is no one better to get you feeling festive than Buddy the Elf. Stream now on NowTV or rent on Amazon Prime
2 of 312 December: Last Christmas
Released in 2019, Last Christmas is set to the music of George Michael, stars Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding and was written by Emma Thompson. Do we need to say more? Stream now on NowTV__ or Netflix__, or rent on Amazon Prime
3 of 313 December: The Grinch
This is for those who say the first week of December is too early for Christmas movies. You're a mean one, Mr Grinch... Rent on Amazon Prime
4 of 314 December: Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square
Dolly Parton is here to save Christmas (literally) as angel come to rescue a small town when a cold-hearted woman tries to sell it off. The perfect feel-good film for the first Saturday in December. Stream now on Netflix
5 of 315 December: The Christmas Chronicles
As an early Christmas gift, every Sunday we're going to treat you to a Christmas movie series to watch. First up: The Christmas Chronicles. Start with the first one, take a break to refill your hot cocoa, and then move on to the second film. Stream now on Netflix
6 of 316 December: Noelle
Pitch Perfect's Anna Kendrick stars as Noelle Kringle, daughter of Kris Kringle, who wishes she had a more important purpose in life – like her brother, Nick, who is set to take over from their father this Christmas. When Nick crumbles like a cookie left out for Santa under the pressure, Noelle might get her chance after all… Stream now on Disney+
7 of 317 December: Almost Christmas
Following the death of their mother, four adults return home to visit their father for Christmas. But can they set aside their problems and give their dad the nice, traditional holiday he wants? Rent on Amazon Prime
8 of 318 December: The Polar Express
On the night of Christmas Eve, a young boy sceptical of the existence of Santa boards a magical train called the Polar Express set for the North Pole where he finds a bell from the reins of a reindeer that can only be heard by those who truly believe. Stream now on NowTV
9 of 319 December: It's A Wonderful Life
A classic for all the right reasons, It's A Wonderful Life sees George Bailey, who has so many problems in his life he's thinking about ending it all, meet his guardian angel, Clarence, who shows George what his town would look like without all his good deeds over the years. Stream now on NowTV
10 of 3110 December: Scrooged
We're 10 days into the month, and you're still not in the Christmas spirit? C'mon, you don't want to end up like Frank Cross... Rent now on Amazon Prime
11 of 3111 December: Love Actually
Christmas is two weeks away and instead of attending party after party, you're staying safe inside to protect yourself and others. Reward yourself with Love Actually; you deserve it.__ Stream now on NowTV, Amazon Prime__, or Netflix
12 of 3112 December: The Princess Switch
It's Sunday again! This time, start with The Princess Switch, starring Vanessa Hudgens and Vanessa Hudgens; follow it up with The Princess Switch: Switched Again starring Vanessa Hudgens, Vanessa Hudgens and Vanessa Hudgens; then end with The Princess Switch 3: Romancing the Star starring – well you get it by now. Stream now on Netflix
13 of 3113 December: A Bad Moms Christmas
Watch this movie blissfully knowing you probably won't have to deal with hundreds of other shoppers at the mall this year. Stream now on Amazon Prime
14 of 3114 December: The Muppet Christmas Carol
The Muppets kind of freak us out, to be honest, but A Christmas Carol is a classic. Stream now on Disney+
15 of 3115 December: Miracle on 34th Street
Another absolutely Christmas must-watch, Miracle on 34th Street sees six-year-old Susan very sceptical of the existence of Santa, a trait she probably inherited from her fast-paced work-loving mother, Dorey. When placed in charge of hiring the Santa to pose with kids at Macy's, Dorey hires a mysterious man named Kris Kringle who claims to be the real Santa Claus. Stream now on Disney+
16 of 3116 December: Black Christmas
We're halfway through the month and if you're growing a little bored on all the heart-warming Christmas cheer, Black Christmas is the film for you. Riley and her group of friends are preparing for a Christmas party when a masked stalker targets the girls and starts a killing spree – until they decide to fight back. Stream now on NowTV
17 of 3117 December: Christmas With The Kranks
The Krank family – usually the biggest Christmas fans around – shock everyone when they declare they aren't celebrating Christmas this year. That is, until their daughter plans a last-minute visit home and they set off on a last-minute rush to create the perfect Christmas. Stream now on Amazon Prime
18 of 3118 December: Deck The Halls
Self-proclaimed Christmas expert Steve is used to being the most festive one in the neighbourhood – until new neighbour Buddy moves in next door. The two try to outdo each other in decorating their houses, and chaos ensues. Stream now on Amazon Prime
19 of 3119 December
It's the last Sunday before Christmas! Start your day with A Christmas Prince, follow it up with A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding, and just when you don't think you can take anymore, pop on A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby. Stream now on Netflix
20 of 3120 December: Four Christmases
Starring Reese Witherspoon, Four Christmases is another one to watch while thinking, yes, Christmas is very different this year, but at least I don't have to try to squeeze in visits with four separate families. Rent now on Amazon Prime
21 of 3121 December
We're in the home stretch now, people. Home Alone is a classic and this is the best time to watch it. Stream now on Disney+ or rent on Amazon Prime
22 of 3122 December: Jingle Jangle
New last year (but 20 years in the making), Jingle Jangle is a heart-warming musical that follows legendary toymaker Jeronicus Jangle as he works with his granddaughter, Journey, to create a brand-new Christmas invention. Stream now on Netflix
23 of 3123 December: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
We keep saying this, but this one really is a Christmas classic. Clark Griswold loves Christmas and wants to give his family the perfect holiday, but his try-hard antics might just turn everything into a disaster. Rent now on Amazon Prime
24 of 3124 December: The Night Before
For the past decade, best friends Ethan, Isaac and Chris have spent Christmas Eve together on a messy night out. But as Isaac prepares to become a first-time father, the trio realises their annual tradition might be coming to a sad end. The only solution? A night full of debauchery as they search for the Nutcracka Ball, the biggest Christmas party in New York City. Stream now on Amazon Prime
25 of 3125 December: The Santa Clause
The big day is finally here! Spend it watching the best Christmas film series out there, The Santa Clause starring Tim Allen. With two sequels (The Santa Clause 2 and The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause), these are the perfect films for a lowkey Christmas Day. Stream now on Disney+ or rent on Amazon Prime
26 of 3126 December: The Harry Potter Series
It's the last Sunday of the month (and also Boxing Day) and, boy, have we saved the best for last. With the entire Harry Potter series available to stream on Disney+, this will keep you occupied all day when you're so stuffed from leftovers you don't think you can move.Stream now on Disney+
27 of 3127 December: Little Women
2019's Little Women is the perfect way to spend a calm, relaxing day recovering from the festivities the two days before. Buy on Amazon Prime or stream now on Netflix
28 of 3128 December: The Nightmare Before Christmas
Is it a Christmas film or a Halloween film? We don't know, but Christmas has technically come and gone, so it's the perfect time to give it a watch. Stream now on Disney+
29 of 3129 December: The Holiday
Bet you thought we forgot it, huh? As if! Spanning over Christmas and New Years, this is a perfect in-between film. Get ready for plenty of meet-cutes between Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Cameron Diaz and Jude Law. Stream now on NowTV__, Netflix or Amazon Prime
30 of 3130 December: Holidate
Sloane and Jackson are two singletons tired of being date-less for the holidays, so they agree to be each other's platonic 'holidates' all year long. But this is a rom-com, after all, so it's easy to see where this ends up… Stream now on Netflix
31 of 3131 December: The Last Holiday
It's New Years' Eve! Congratulations, you made it through the month (and 2021). Here's your reward: the perfect feel-good end-of-year film. Georgia has a big heart and a lot of dreams, but feels stuck in her life. When she learns she only has weeks left to live, she cashes out her savings, quits her job and flies to the glitzy Czech resort she's always dreamed of visiting. Stream now on Amazon Prime