We've come to the end of our marathon. Our reality TV marathon that is. Yes, MAFS Australia season 12 is nearly over, and with that the voyeuristic insight we have into several Australian couples' love lives.Many of us will have to take that same awareness inwards and finally get on with our own lives (an awful concept).
This season has been rough (much like every season is to be fair) with a handful of couples starting off strong and falling at the final hurdle i.e. the last days before their final vows to one another. Teejay Halkias, who came into the series as a latecomer, was paired up with Beth Kelly. Despite having less time to progress their relationship than the other couples, they appeared to be impressively connected and an aspirational pairing rivalling some of the strongest OGs.
But over the past few weeks' episodes, as talks of life outside of the show began, what seemed like a confusing miscommunication between them erupted into a visible fracture. While Beth looked for reassurance that Teejay wanted to make it work after the 'experiment' was over, Teejay seemed to bristle, withdraw and go silent. During a private moment during time with his friends on home stays, he revealed he had a lot of doubts – so why wasn't he sharing with them with Beth?
As the days progressed, he began to speak more clearly about not feeling confident in their relationship in isolated moments to the camera, but every time she asked him for clarity, he would continue to feed her word salad that offered enough hope of a future together. Never once did he communicate the same sentiment to her.
As a viewer it felt cruel to see Beth, who had shared this was her first real relationship, be the last person to learn her husband wasn't happy. Rather than facing the harsh, yet dignified, truth that he wanted to end the relationship, she was dragged through multiple confusing conversations that failed to match up to his cold behaviour. She was clearly very upset.
This isn't the first occasion a groom refused to share his real thoughts to his wife. While they seem to have gotten to a better place again ahead of final vows, who can forget how visibly heartbroken Jamie Marinos was when her husband Dave Hand shut down the minute she said 'I love you'? Of course this came after several weeks of marital bliss and endless compliments about her. This u-turn was made worse by the realisation he had failed to share his real feelings about the fast pace of their relationship until it became even more serious, and then he withdrew.
A theme emerging from this season's roster of couples is the impact of not sharing your true emotions and hiding how you really feel. Some of this seems to come from a place of fear and not wanting to hurt someone else, which are really understandable emotions. None of us are perfect and we have all likely hurt someone in a similar way at some point.
Still, while it's hard to imagine the pressure of appearing on a series like MAFS, and participants deserve our empathy, it's easy to see from out outsider's perspective just how damaging this emotional dishonesty is. In the long-run it hurts someone else far greater than a difficult and painful conversation. It's also clear that those on the receiving end would rather face a challenging and painful chat from their partner and would respect honesty over what they received instead.
Lots of us look to reality TV for life lessons or insights into how others live their lives. If there's one thing I'm taking away from MAFS season 12, it's the reminder that hiding your real feelings from a partner, especially when it's about big things, isn't ever for their benefit and can only hurt them more.