Made In Chelsea’s Jess & Toff Sort Out Your Pressing Life Issues

From messy housemates to Tinder fails, Made in Chelsea's only sensible duo tell you how to sort out your life.

Made In Chelsea's Jess & Toff Sort Out Your Pressing Life Issues

by Jess Commons |
Published on

Georgia ‘Toff’ Toffolo and Jess Woodleyare probably the only two members of the Made in Chelsea cast we can see ourselves hanging out with IRL. Invite Spencer and he'll have sex with one of your friends, go to the pub with Lucy and you'll probably get into a fight. What about? You won't be sure but it certainly won't be fun.

Jess and Toff though are our kind of girls; slightly eccentric with excellent clothes and a mostly sunny disposition on life, they're the kind of gals we'd find ourselves in drinking in a pub in Fulham for. And there's not many people we'd go drinking in Fulham for.

Now, with the show returning to our screens, and as the two have just moved in together, we asked the girls some of the questions you guys have been asking us and got them to sort everything out.

Dear Toff and Jess

I’ve lived with my best friend and a boy for a few years and everything’s been great but recently, he’s moved out and another girl has moved in. Now this new girl and my best friend have started hanging out loads without me and I feel really left out – what can I do?

Toff: We have a bit of that in our house so what we do is try and do different things together. Like, so I like going out to the nightclubs on the King’s Road but Jess doesn’t like doing that so I’ll spend the day with Jess in Notting Hill instead.

Jess: Yeah we’ve got four people so we’ve constantly got days where some people are feeling left out but we all voice our opinions. We’re all quite big personalities so we definitely speak about it to get it out in the open.

Dear Toff and Jess

The other day I went on a Bumble date and, when I got there, the guy looked nothing like his picture. I stayed to be polite but what should I have done? I feel like I was lied to.

Jess: Never walk away because the person might not be showing themselves because of insecurities. But you can definitely point out that the person is lying and it’s not respectful. You should always webcam or Skype before so you can avoid this situation – then say if I feel comfortable I’ll meet you.

Toff: I would SO call them out on it. I’d be like ‘what is this?’ I hate that. It’s false advertising.

Dear Toff and Jess

I’ve just moved in with my best friend and I was SO happy. Now though, I’ve realised she’s SO BLOODY MESSY. How do I confront her?

Toff: We’re all quite messy. We have like 400 pairs of shoes in our bit where the door opens downstairs When someone walks in they’re like ‘what happened’.

Jess: Toff is so messy. She says it’s me. But she’s a little messy messer. She’ll leave food next to her bed for three days. It’s hard not to get angry but try and avoid an argument and say your need to clean up up after yourself. Clothes are fine as long as people keep them in their room. Tell your friend to keep it in her room. But anything communal has to be clean.

Dear Toff and Jess

I’ve been seeing this guy and everything was going well but then all of a sudden he just disappeared and stopped texting me back. I really liked him. Shall I keep texting him?

Jess: NEVER NEVER NEVER. Don’t EVER send more than a few messages. Just block it out and pretend he doesn’t exist. Like 80% of the time they’ll come back. Never be clingy. Obviously though he’s an arsehole for disappearing.

Toff: Ergh no definitely leave it at that because maybe they’ve got a girlfriend or something. That’s horrible.

Dear Toff and Jess

What’s the best way to get over a hangover?

Toff: Oh my goodness I’m a pro at this. Right. You’ve got to power nap; short sharp bursts whenever you can. I do it all the time. Also, I eat so much on a hangover. So much. Already today at 11AM I’ve had chicken soup, a piece of toast and now my friend is making me poached eggs on toast. A hangover is a state of mind. You’ve got to trick your body and be like ‘what I didn’t even go out last night’ And then your body believes it. I’m good with hangovers like, really good at them.

Jess: It’s pretty hard. I do sometimes rely on Berocca. Food sometimes doesn’t help. I find when you eat first thing it doesn’t help. So maybe like gallons and gallons of water? Don’t do anything farfetched. Do not have hair of the dog. It doesn’t work.

Dear Toff and Jess

I do love my job but I spend all Sunday in a super depressed state about having to go back to work – how do I get over this?

Jess: Sunday blues! I watch Harry Potter. My family think it’s a bit weird. Harry Potter or Shrek. Definitely not a romcom. Distractions are good on a Sunday. Harry Potter actually makes me feel happy.

Toff: I always get it when I go and see my Mum and then come back on the Sunday night. I get upset on the train but then I go straight to the pub. You get a nasty hangover on Monday but it’s the only way! If you look around the pub on a Sunday night it’s just all the lost souls clinging to the weekend.

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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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