After last week’s drama, many of us were hoping that certain Canadians would pack up their Justin Trudeau posters and get on a plane home, but Mimi is very present in this Made In Chelsea episode. Victoria is drawn to her, which makes sense - it takes a truly self-obsessed person to be so keen to befriend a woman whose name is literally ‘Me! Me!’. Toff is also intrigued by her, for a different reason. She’s not forgotten Liv’s ‘betrayal’ last summer, when she boffed Boulle. According to Made In Chelsea maths, when one ‘boyfriend stealer’ meets another ‘boyfriend stealer’ the initial thievery is cancelled out. (Not that humans can be stolen, Boulle and Fred are free men - but let’s be real. According to Fulham rules, Mimi’s behaviour is worse than offering your guests a glass of cava.)
Jamie is on the hunt for a new intern, and Proudlock is helping him with the interviews. Presumably, he said he’d do it for free as long as he could slag off Jamie’s clothes, which aren’t formal enough, according to Prouders. It’s worth mentioning that he is wearing a shirt, but he’s wearing it with a camo print tuxedo jacket. It looks like it’s been buried at the bottom of the Millets £5 last chance bucket since November. They’re both out-Sloaned by Sam Prince, who looks like he was wearing chinos when he came out of the womb - an event that probably only happened last week. Sam struggles to strike the balance between ‘proper legend’ and ‘responsible person with a functional national insurance number’. His wardrobe is pristine, but he hasn’t been home for ten nights. Is he Patrick Bateman?
Tiff takes Sam to couple’s therapy, which Sam seems surprisingly relaxed about, down to revealing that he likes to ‘play with [Tiff’s]…little ears’. It turns out that Jamie is their biggest problem, after he told Tiff that Sam sometimes complains about her. It’s as if Sam never even thought of putting all of Tiff’s stuff into a bin bag, and he’s back to the ear fiddling while filling Tiff’s ears with words of all of the awful things Jamie says about Frankie. Which Sam would never ever tell anyone about. Hmmmm.
Fred whinges about how much Liv is overreacting to the Mimi text, Proudlock and Jamie gently point out that the message was quite incriminating, and Liv tells the girls that Proudlock has been quick to play the ‘crazy’ card. Biscuits is being all Brentish, to the consternation of his new employee. ‘Who are your role models?’ ‘Um, Brad Pitt?’ replies a baffled Sam Prince. Jamie leans in. ‘They could be REALLY NEW PEOPLE YOU’VE MET.’ Eventually, Sam Prince picks the right answer, so Jamie lets him organise a party. Tomorrow. ‘Slides! Fireman’s pole!’ yells Jamie. ‘Don’t take my ideas!’
Mimi bumps into Fred on a bench, possibly activating an ancient FourSquare account in order to facilitate the coincidence. ‘I’m sorry if my honesty got you into trouble,’ she coos. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen anyone say something so passive aggressive to a person they’re desperate to have sex with. Mimi offers to DM her number, just in case, ‘and if we ever see each other oot…’ Don’t be all adorable and Canadian now, Mimi! We have HARDENED OUR HEARTS.
We see Binky and Louise making plans to go baby buggy shopping in between squeezing out a few pelvic floor exercises, and Sam meets the new Sam Prince as he heads to the Candy Kittens Global Headquarters for a showdown with the boss. Sam (Sr) makes his point quite reasonably - he tells Jamie things in confidence and he then repeats them, whereas Sam, despite being quite loose-lipped and indiscreet in the last twenty minutes, tends to lock the vault. ‘This conversation’s done, you can fuck off out of my office,’ says Jamie, as Sam Prince glimpses at his future and shudders.
A broken, bemused Liv dumps Fred, who admits he ‘fucked up’ but doesn’t see why he should have to make an apology or sound contrite and it isn’t as if he touched anyone’s actual vagina with his hands or penis. Mimi bumps into Steph at a party, who says, out of loyalty to Liv, ‘terrible to meet you, to be honest’, - hooray! Everyone in the world has always wanted to say that to someone! But didn’t Steph ‘do a Mimi’ to Nicola when she was dating Mytton? What short memories we all have! If only these occurrences had been recorded and broadcast. Poor Liv loses it. ‘You’re being a big smug with yourself, kind of thing.’ Oh, Liv. Let her take stupid Fred, but do not let her mess with your precious vocabulary. Still, we know you’re hurting, but we don’t use ‘slut’ as a term of abuse, do we? We’re better than that!
It’s Jamie's stupid contrived Challenge-Sam-Prince-To-Throw-A-Party-In-24-Hours party, and even the guests look a bit knackered and baffled, as if they feel airborne and expect to look down and see a Great White. As a final hellish initiation ritual, Jamie tricks Sam Prince into cracking onto Victoria, who is as gracious and furious as a lifelong John Lewis customer who has just been knowingly undersold. Biscuits bitches about Sam to Frankie, explaining that he slags her off to Sam all the time. Unsurprisingly instead of taking his side, Frankie looks like she wants to cry. Louise confronts Jamie too, saying ‘Maybe you should be sorry that you upset someone.’ ‘I don’t want to do that!” whinges Jamie. What is wrong with him, as a human? Liv is crying - she’s seen Fred and it’s all a bit much. ‘He didn’t even fight for me back!’ she sobs, as malevolent Mimi hisses ‘I’m kind of happy, I think he could do better than she is. I want him to be happy, I can be a friend that’s there.’ Yes Mimi, frankly it’s your insistence on being there that’s the problem. Urghhhh, they deserve each other.
Hero of the week
Louise is always at her best when she’s taking her big sister responsibilities seriously, and it’s always nice to see her sticking up for Sam. Brava!
Villain of the week
We’re not impressed with Fred’s failure to sound remotely sorry, when he was supposed to be saying sorry. He made Liv cry. Boo
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.