There was something calming about the return of Love Island last night. As we all sat down on our sofas, ready to spend a Summer dissecting the ins and outs of the islanders’ behaviours and relationships, the world looks very different to the way it did as we last said goodbye to the series at the end of February 2020, when Paige Turley and Finn Tapp were crowned the winners of season 6.
And yet as the synthy beat of another 90s cover song kicked in (Always and Forever by Donna Lewis in this instance), and the dulcet tones of Iain Stirling announced the new series over sweeping panoramas of Mallorca, there was something comforting in the familiarity of the series and the slice of pre-pandemic normality it represents.
The nostalgia was potent, and as we watched another group of islanders fresh off the boat (and out of quarantine) introduce themselves, we were cloaked in a feeling of safety and familiarity — relieved that though the whole world has changed, we can always depend on Love Island to stay the same. It’s nice to know what we’re getting for once in the past year. No surprises, please — they’re overrated.
So without further ado, herewith a non-comprehensive list of all of the things that haven’t changed on the show since the pandemic.
1. Everyone is beautiful…
Literally all of them.
2. The whitest teeth you’ll see on British TV
Us Brits are known abroad for having terrible teeth, but this gang is doing a great job of dispelling that stereotype. If you’ve ever wondered what teeth whitening looks like, then the new islanders are a pretty great advertisement. Just wait for their #ads to flood your Instagram feeds when the show is over.
3. Pairing bikinis with heels is absolutely still a thing
I don’t know about you but I’ve never thought of pairing a swimsuit with heels — it would be impractical for a start. But our islanders love this combo, and we have to admit, the show wouldn’t be the same without it.
4. The villa is exactly as we left it
Did anyone else feel a pang of excitement when they first clock the famous fire pit, where all the most dramatic fights have taken place over the years? Over the years we’ve grown used to the basic layout of the villa, and it’s reassuring to see that nothing has changed on that front. Now, we can focus on the action, rather than trying to get our heads round where everything is.
5. The sun is shining
Given the ever-changing travel restrictions that Covid continues to force and the (therefore) increasing likelihood we’ll all be staying put this summer, let’s face it, this is probably the closest to a holiday we’re going to get. The sun was shining so brightly I could almost feel my skin burning. MORE PLEASE!
6. Plenty of fluros
Nothing says Love Island like fluorescent colours, and I’m pleased to share that they were on display all over the place — in the credits, on the bodies, on the words written all over the words of the villa. BRB, just getting my nails redone in fluro green.
7. No social distancing here
Despite the ongoing regulations all around the world when it comes to social contact, it was such a relief that the islanders are in a bubble and can therefore touch, kiss and fondle as much as they like. The last thing any of us needed was a reminder of how Covid has decimated intimacy between people. After a year spent without the privilege of snogging strangers ona night out, imagine how exciting it’ll be to see people locking lips. Thrilling!
8. Sex talk is rife
These islanders don’t mess around. Jake Cornish in particular went straight in describing a predilection for toe-sucking.
9. It is what it is, apparently
The first islander to say “it is what it is” of the series was Jake Cornish. How nice will it be to hear about people “pulling each other for a chat,” islanders shouting “got a text!” and people discussing their type. Presenter Laura Whitmore’s nod to the classic “my type on paper” phrase, popularised in series 3 was perfection.
10. Not a body hair in sight
How do they do it? Honestly. Not a stray hair in sight.
11. It started with a twist…
A text at the end of episode one delivered a twist, the boys would all be going on a date with as yet unknown islander Chloe Burrows, right after the first coupling was complete. What will happen next? Tune in tonight to find out!