‘There are times when you look at your children, and you think, "F***, what do I say? What do I do? Where’s the manual? Can I phone a friend?"’ Kate Winsletadmits at the Q&A of I Am Ruth. 'So much of it we do as parents is making it up as we go along.'
I am Ruth is a poignant upcoming Channel 4 film - the latest in Dominic Savage’s women-led I Am anthology series - that delves into the fractured relationship between a mother and her teenage daughter. The result of Savage and Winslet's collaboration is a gut-wrenching tale about mental health that feels all too relatable. Winslet plays Ruth, a concerned mother who witnesses her teenage daughter Freya (played by Winslet’s real-life daughter with director Jim Threapleton, Mia Threapleton), as she becomes consumed by the pressures of social media and sinks into a deep depression.
Much like Winslet's character Ruth, the Oscar-winner admits she didn’t know what to do at times parenting her own adolescent kids. 'I relate to this story because I've been a parent to teenagers... I think often when you’re a person in the public eye or high profile figure, the media kind of enshrines you in this kind of bulls**t of perfection and I’ve always hated that.'
She reveals that the goal for her and Savage was to create a ‘truthful’ piece of work. ‘I wanted to identify specifically with parents,' said Winslet, 'And I certainly wanted to be able to cover things that are often, I think for parents, enshrouded in shame. "Did I fail? Was I too busy? ‘Did I not listen?" Sometimes I think the world we live in suggests that we have to be strong and have the answers, and now, more than ever, people don’t f***ing know what to do.'
Not one word out of our mouths was scripted.
Winslet reveals that acting alongside her daughter Threapleton created 'personal overlap' but it was a 'special experience.' As she blinks back tears, she recalls her daughter acting out a panic attack scene. ‘There were moments when I would look at Mia and go, "Oh my god, she’s doing it. She’s really doing it." And I wanted to hug her and make it stop. My instinct was to go, "I’ve got you," straight away, and I had to resist it at every turn.'
Although the plot was originally scripted, all the dialogue ended up being improvised. 'Not one word out of our mouths was scripted,' Winslet says. 'Everything we said we made up on the day, in the moment; nothing was written down. That makes what Mia does doubly impressive, because when you’re a young actor, having the courage to say what you think and come forward with an idea can be really quite challenging.'
With the improvised scenes, Winslet and Threapleton looked to personal experience for their characters and reveal that many of the emotional scenes in the film were inspired by real-life conversations. 'I’ve been on the periphery of friends who have raised teenagers, who have gone through some absolutely horrific things,' Winslet says. 'So a lot of the conversations you hear, even specific words you hear come out of my mouth, are direct from things friends have said to me. '
'There’s that scene where Ruth sits on the bed and says, "I just don’t know who I am, I’m really struggling, I don’t like myself, I don’t look forward to anything", that’s literally a conversation I had with a very close friend a few years ago. I along with Mia, wanted to honour those stories.'
I Am Ruth airs on Channel 4 at 9pm Thursday 8 December