Our fave reality show is back and with it are all the old phrases that we’re used to hearing like, ‘It is what it is’ and ‘Cheeky’. FYI on Love Island, ‘Cheeky’ very much means I’m going to get to know everyone in here, sorry not sorry.
But among all the cringeworthy introduction videos and embarrassing first meetings (we’re looking at you Will and Olivia), there was one particular phrase that really caught our attention.
Whilst describing herself and what she’s looking for in the villa, actress and ring girl Olivia Hawkins used the term ‘cougar’.
Yep, at the ripe old age of… 27, Olivia has adopted the phrase to describe her preferences in men, or is that boys?
Originally an insult used to describe older women who get with members of the opposite sex who are much younger than themselves, isn’t it time we stopped using the word ‘cougar’?
Some have attempted to hail the word as feminist, such as author Valerie Gibson who wrote a book called Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men in which she describes a cougar as ‘the new breed of single, older woman – confident, sophisticated, desirable, and sexy. She knows exactly what she wants. What she wants is younger men and lots of great sex. What she doesn't want is children, cohabitation or commitment.’
Others see the word for what it is, a derogatory term used in an attempt to shame women for actually getting what they want.
Arguably, yhe word ‘cougar’ was created because people were seemingly shocked that women over a certain age could manage to bag young, attractive men - and that’s a problem. It’s ageist and sexualises the relationship between the two individuals when it may be more than just a physical arrangement.
When Demi Moore started dating actor Aston Kutcher – who was 16 years younger than her – she was branded with the term ‘cougar’ and although their relationship subsequently crumbled, many don’t remember that the pair were actually married for eight years.
And let’s not forget that much like ‘bossy’ and ‘hysterical’ there’s no male equivalent. A man who sleeps with younger women is treated like a god by his peers, whilst a woman is shamed for her choices.
Yes, 27-year-old Olivia currently has her sights set on 21-year-old Haris and yes, we may not completely understand it, but the term ‘cougar’ has no place here. It has no place anywhere.
When will we just let women be with whoever they want - without a side helping of shame?