When we told you earlier this week that there was an - admittedly small - prospect that we would be getting more episodes of Gilmore Girls, there was excitement. Which is understandable given that it was one of the most bingeable shows on television, and that the Gilmore clan are like an extended family to many of us. But those of you who’ve re-watched the series recently (thank you Netflix) have probably realised that despite being loveable, basically everyone in Stars Hollow and the surrounding area is pretty much a terrible person. Which prompts the question: who is the worst person in Gilmore Girls?
Probably the most obvious contender for worst character, Emily Gilmore is controlling, judgemental, obsessive and rude. She gets through almost one maid per episode for the first seven seasons, and when her 16-year-old daughter announced that she was pregnant, her reaction was, in modern parlance, kind of slut-shamey.
But Emily is definitely not the worst of the GG cast. Yes, she’s rude, but she’s consistent. You know where you stand with Emily. Sloppy outfits, weak Martinis and jokes about President Bush will not go down well. Arriving promptly, good manners and speaking warmly of Yale will. Plus, there’s an element of growth to her. When Rory’s boat-stealing antics see her dropping out of university (more on that later), Emily takes over as a pseudo parent. Plus she never knowingly under-serves wine.
Wash your mouth out with soap. He was a fine upstanding gentleman. RIP.
You’d think that a character who had a daughter aged 16, moved out of her parents’ house aged 17 and worked her way from hotel maid to hotel owner would engender some love from a viewer, but while Lorelei Gilmore makes for compelling viewing she is also, objectively, the actual worst.
The term stunted emotional growth was designed for LG. She hates her (largely benign) parents, into her thirties and forties, based on how they treated her as a child. She believes that the only way her daughter could get into Harvard would be by attending a private school (wildy problematic) and resentfully borrows money from her parents in order to facilitate that. The singular proviso upon which the money was loaned was that she attend Friday Night Dinner once a week, which she does with impressively bad grace.
Plus she drives a 2000 Jeep Wrangler home after two martinis and two glasses of wine every single week.
Many of the annoying aspects of RG’s personality (whiney, self-involved, the most perfect complexion any human has ever had) can be overlooked because she’s young and Lorelei is her mother. But, aged 20, she drops out of Yale and steals a boat because her boyfriend’s father (a thinly veiled Murdoch parody, Succession has nothing on the Gilmore Girls) told her that she probably wouldn’t make it in journalism.
Rory fares worst out of anyone in the reunion mini-series. Understandably, having been far too good at everything as a teenager, she’s lost in her thirties and struggling to make a decent career as a writer. Less reasonably she’s stringing along a bloke she’s got no interest in and having an affair with her university boyfriend, who is engaged to a super cool-sounding French chick.
In favour of Logan, he can organise one hell of a lost weekend, has not aged a single day between the end of the original series and the reunion and he has a really nice house in Martha’s Vineyard.
Strikes against are that he is basically Kendall Roy and takes a relaxed attitude to fidelity.
Brought a life coach to college, had an affair with her 60-something year old professor, qualified as a doctor AND a lawyer? Honestly PG is an icon. There is nothing to critique.
Jess is so BROODING and BAD. No one understands him because his life has been HARD. Much improved by aging out of the bad boy demographic and getting a job.
Broke up with Rory because he said 'I love you' and she didn't say it back. Got married aged like, nine, then cheated on said wife with Rory.
Unbearable in every single way and never, ever amusing.
An actual dictator.
Luke has a real skill for being on the wrong side of history, and strong meninist vibes. He’s a proponent of patronising ‘we don’t have wifi, talk to each other’ nonsense, and once objected to a woman publicly breastfeeding in his diner. We’d put quite a lot of money on him having a secret Reddit account where he complains about actresses who gain weight.
On reflection it’s kind of amazing that a show filled with such deeply objectionable people can make such compelling viewing. Let us know who you think was the most objectionable character on Twitter or Instagram, @GraziaUK.
So many facts about Gilmore Girls
Gilmore Girls Facts
Her coffee cups were filled with Coke during filming instead.
Before Rory, her biggest role was appearing in the background of Wes Anderson's film Rushmore. While studying at NYU, she decided to give the audition a shot.
With Alexis new to acting, her on-screen mum Lauren Graham would literally steer her into place to make the shoot go smoother. A classic Lorelai move, we say.
The showrunner left Gilmore Girls after six seasons at the helm, due to a disagreement over contracts. She's since revealed that she would have found it difficult to watch the characters she created being taken out of her control, though we're guessing the rest of the GG team has brought her up to speed ahead of the Netflix revival…
Over seven seasons of the show, it picked up a sole Emmy nod for Outstanding Make-Up for a Series (awarded for 'The Festival Of Living Art' in Season Four).
The network, however, thought the show had too many female characters as cast regulars, and that Stars Hollow needed a male lead, so Daisy became Luke.
Scott Patterson was only contracted for a handful of episodes, until the producers (and fans) became aware of his on-screen chemistry with Lauren Graham.
On screen, we see Rory chatting with Esperanza in high school Spanish, but in real life, the actress (who is of Argentinian descent) is fluent – she grew up speaking Spanish with her family, and learnt English when she started school.
As Gilmore Girls legend goes, Amy Sherman-Palladino took a trip to this picture-perfect New England town, returning with an idea for Stars Hollow. Earlier this year, Washington Depot hosted the first Gilmore Girls Fan Fest ahead of the Netflix revival.
While these two fictional locales might look identical, Stars Hollow and Rosewood couldn't be more different. It's hard to imagine a psychotic cyber-criminal running amok in Stars Hollow, where all problems are solved by trading one-liners and coffee.
The average script for a one-hour TV show runs to between 45 and 50 page; the average script for an episode of Gilmore Girls ran between 75 and 80 to allow for the speedy back-and-forth dialogue. As the show's tagline put it, 'life's short, talk fast.'
Dialogue coach George Bell ended up appearing as Professor Bell when Rory went to Yale
Actress Vanessa Marano didn't like her character too much, either. 'When I got the breakdown for the role, I was like "You're giving Luke a daughter! This is going to break them up,"' she told A. S. Berman in The Gilmore Girls Companion. '"I hated myself. How can my character do this?"'
While she wasn't quite right for the part, she managed to impress Amy Sherman-Palladino so much that she created a new character, Paris, especially for her.
Folk star Carole King re-recorded her 1970 song 'Where You Lead' (taken from the album Tapestry) especially for Gilmore Girls, with the lyrics subtly shifted to mirror the show's mother-daughter relationship, and the vocals shared with her daughter, Louise Goffin.
The singer appears in three episodes across the show's seven seasons as Sophie Bloom, the owner of Stars Hollow's music store.
Especially if they involved arguing with Kelly Bishop (Emily Gilmore). These scenes took a particularly long time to shoot, as they used different perspectives and camera angles.
At the Gilmore Girls Fan Festival this year, casting director Jami Rudofsky revealed that she invited Ryan (who she had previously cast in an independent movie) to read for a small role on the show. The audition, however, fell flat, and Ryan never made it to Stars Hollow. Let's just take a moment to imagine what might have been…
You'll recognise her as Marjorie Houseman, Baby's mother in Dirty Dancing (one of many films referenced or name-checked by Rory and Lorelai).
Remember the episode where Jess heads to California to meet his father? It was supposed to open the door for a spin-off show, but filming costs were too high and the series never made it to our screens. Far better that the Gilmore Girls legacy remains untarnished by spin-offs, we say.
It makes for quite the reading list…
Pre-Mad Men, he appeared in Season Three as Peyton Sanders, Lorelai's rich but very dull date.
She went on to marry Vincent Kartheiser (who played Pete) in 2014.
FYI, Jess, Dean and Logan all appear in the Netflix revival.
Rory's first love interest was played by actor Nathan Wetherington, but the show's team didn't think he was quite right for the character, and swapped him for Jared once the show was picked up by Warner Brothers.
Stars Hollow's resident odd-job man is introduced in the first episode in a different guise altogether: that of the equally abrasive Mick, who installs internet cables (remember those?) in the Gilmore home.
When Adam's character Dave (boyfriend to Rory's best friend Lane, keep up…) leaves after one season, Lane reveals that he went off to study in California. In fact, the actor left Gilmore Girls to star as Seth Cohen in The OC which, of course, takes place in Orange County, California (Californiaaaa...)
That's where Chad Michael Murray went to film his roles on Dawson's Creek and One Tree Hill.
Due to her premature departure, though, we didn't hear them at the end of season seven, and will have to wait until A Year In The Life airs to find out…