Chrishell Stause Made A Difficult Decision When She Split From Jason Oppenheim For Motherhood

‘Men have the luxury of time that women don’t and that’s just the way it goes,' she said.

Chrishell and Jason Selling Sunset

by Lydia Spencer-Elliott |
Updated on

Chrishell Stause and Jason Oppenheim’s romance is currently playing out on season five of Selling Sunset and their almost happy ever after is pulling at our heartstrings. The couple's romance came crashing down less than a year after they went public due to differing views on starting a family together and the demise looks pretty painful.

After visiting a fertility doctor together and planning to make embryos with Stause's frozen eggs, Oppenheim breaks it to her that he's simply not ready to become a father: 'We’ve had many conversations. It’s just that, at this point, he is not 100 percent sure if he’s ready to say, "OK, let’s, like, implant and have a baby," she tells her sisters in episode ten.

In an unenviable double whammy, Stause has since had to mourn the loss of her relationship and nurse the disappointment of not going ahead with her intended fertility treatment and we can't help but feel saddened that Oppenheim ever got her hopes up.

‘Jason was and is my best friend,’ Stause wrote on Instagram when they split in December. ‘Other than our ideas for family ultimately not being aligned, the amount of respect and love we have for each other will not change going forward.’

‘Men have the luxury of time that women don’t and that’s just the way it goes,’ she continued. ‘I very much hope to one day have a family and decisions I make at this point are with that goal in mind.’

As horrible as the ‘ticking clock’ metaphor is, there’s medical validity in it. Stause’s decision to choose motherhood over her relationship is completely honest and rational … even if it hurts.

Girls are born with a fixed number of eggs, which decreases as we age, according to the British Fertility Society. You usually start with 2 million, by adolescence are down to 400,000, at 37 have about 25,000 and at 51 start the menopause.

Stause, who is currently 40 years old, will have the closing window to start a family at the forefront of her mind. Meanwhile, Oppenheim, 44, doesn’t have the menopause to consider. He will continue to produce new sperm every day, although the number will also decline. And fertility aside, there’s a chance he just doesn’t want a family at all.

According to dating coach at, Hayley Quinn{ =nofollow}, the debate over whether to start a family is a common breaking point for many couples. ‘In terms of deal breakers, not sharing the same views on whether you want to have children is a big one,’ she told Grazia.

‘For a relationship to work you need to have a shared vision for what you want in the future. Men and women who discover their partners aren’t on the same page as them may choose to leave a relationship because of this deal breaker.’

But is there no compromise at all? Surely if you really love someone you can make it work even if you don’t want exactly the same thing? Quinn says to be wary of this: ‘If a relationship is to survive a difference of opinion on whether to have children, or not; it will need one partner to fully accept the other one's decision,’ she explained.

‘The challenge isn't just agreeing to have or not have children: it's to do so without resentment,’ Quinn continued. ‘If you feel you've made a huge compromise on this issue that your partner should be grateful, or that they owe you in some way for your sacrifice, it will be hard for you both to be happy in the future.’ Ouch.

In her statement, Stause thanked Oppenheim for being ‘consistently honest’ with her ‘even when it hurts’. Seemingly, a frank conversation about expectations for the future early on can save months of heart ache which comes with trying to get a partner to change their mind further down the line.

And what of dating going forwards? Is family something Stause will have to consider before every entanglement? ‘Time can really bully women when it comes to their dating lives,’ Quinn admits. 'On the one hand you can’t rush into a relationship with just anybody; on the other, you know that there’s a biological deadline you’re working to.’

‘My advice here is to try not to let the pressure of time passing push you to make hasty decisions. If you find yourself over analysing your early dates to see if he’s father material, you’re probably not going to enjoy the process, or make good decisions,’ Quinn continued.

‘Instead,’ she advised, ‘you may find it more empowering to look into other options to have children that don’t necessitate you finding a partner. That doesn’t mean your nuclear family dream wont come true, it just means you can maintain good standards for the people you meet and take your time getting to know them.’

READ MORE: Fans Are Questioning Whether Chrishell Stause And Jason Oppenheim's Relationship Was A Publicity Stunt

All The Clues Jason And Chrishell Were Together In Season Four Of Selling Sunset

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