*Spoilers ahead for season 2, episode 4*
The latest episode of Sex and the City reboot And Just Like That unearths an interesting sexual dilemma – what happens when your orgasm is dry?
For those who haven’t watched episode four of the show’s second season yet, we’ll fill you in (no pun intended). During a sex scene between Charlotte and Harry, we see their confusion and concern when Harry, ahem, orgasms – but no actual semen is to be seen.
The couple were very confused at this outcome, and even fear for Harry’s health at some point. So what does this mean, when a man has ‘dust balls’? First of all, the experts call it a dry orgasm or orgasmic anejaculation.
This comes, we need not remind you, after Harry’s own penis was shown on screen last season. It was quickly confirmed that it was a prosthetic penis, and not actor Evan Handler's own, but many went on to comment that dicks were having a 'moment on TV'.
We asked a two sex experts all the important questions about Harry's condition this season on And Just Like That – here’s everything you need to know.
What does having 'dust balls' or a dry orgasm mean?
'A dry orgasm is when a man or person with a penis orgasms without ejaculation, or with little to no semen ejaculated also known as orgasmic anejaculation,' Kate Leno, sex and relationships expert for sexual pleasure brand LELO, says. 'This is most commonly due to semen not being sufficiently produced in the body, or due to retrograde ejaculation where semen travels backwards into the bladder instead of being expelled from the penis. In this instance, urine may be cloudy after an orgasm.'
She also stresses the importance between orgasm and ejaculation as a physical experience, meaning that if your orgasm is dry it means you're still orgasming, but without physical ejaculation: 'Ejaculation is an involuntary reflex which is controlled by the central nervous system, and whilst orgasm and ejaculation are often occurring and paired together they are actually separate processes.'
How common is it, and are you more likely to deal with it as you get older?
While there has been little research into how common this issue is, Kate says that it certainly is more common if an individual has had certain procedures and treatments for illnesses such as prostate cancer. She also confirms that as a condition it 'typically increases in prevalence with age'.
Are dry orgasms a medical issue, and can they be brought on by lifestyle or mental health issues?
Sexologist Madalaine Munro weighs in on the potential deeper causes of dry orgasms: 'Challenges to mental health, and stress, may cause dry orgasms,' she tells Grazia. 'These lifestyle factors may impact your hormones, and create inflammation which can affect your body’s functions.
'Creating healthier habits and lifestyle choices can improve your symptoms in a number of ways, such as balancing your hormones as well as having a more regulated nervous system to be able to feel more pleasure.'
Can dry orgasms be treated?
Kate explains that often a physical examination will be needed or an ultrasound to check things out internally. 'Doctors may conduct a blood test to check hormones, as well as a urine sample,' she explains.
Treatment will depend on any underlying causes, which can range from diabetes and genetic abnormalities to low testosterone levels – a man might even dry orgasm due to having repeatedly orgasmed previously, leading to depleted stores of semen and it may be a temporary situation as they're replenished.
Does it affect fertility?
If a man is suffering chronic levels of dry orgasm, this will affect his fertility levels. That said, they may still release sperm in very small amounts so using protection during sex is still important to prevent unplanned pregnancies.
Kate explains that there are also therapeutic workarounds to try for those who are trying for a baby – 'there are specialist vibrators that are designed to help those with spinal cord injuries to induce ejaculation,' she explains, otherwise 'fertility treatments may be require in order to fertilise an egg and create embryos outside the body'.
Is it likely to have a long-term impact on your sex life?
According to Kate, this impact (long or short) can be constructed by your attitude towards sex.
'In terms of those who struggle with dry orgasm it's often to do with expectations and ideas of what sex "should" be like and that sex without ejaculation deviates from many of those ideas,' she explains. 'But sex can still be satisfying and pleasurable for those experiencing dry orgasm – it's just about building awareness around what feels good for you, and may involve addressing some of your narratives and definitions of sex and communicating to a partner.'
Are there ways to support your sex life if you or your partner are having dry orgasms?
The good news is yes. Madalaine recommends a range of sex life supports to renegotiate how pleasure is defined. 'Pleasure mapping, which is centred around understanding the different ways you feel pleasure in your body,' she explains. 'We can associate pleasure with ejaculation, however there are infinite ways to create our pleasure. How do your erogenous zones feel? Where haven't you explored? What type of touch does your body really respond to?'
She also encourages men in particular to explore anal pleasure: 'for men, your G spot is in your anus and this can be an incredible source of pleasure,' she says.