Struggling to find the words to adequately express your disgust and/or superiority? Look no further than Patsy and Eddy.
When it's day four of your girls' holiday and you want to go home
'It's been so long since I actually remember going to sleep instead of passing out.'
When your friend starts to question your new meat-free lifestyle because you're eating a steak
When your friend tries to bring up that guy she broke up with three years ago again
'I know what you're feeling darling but really, I don't even care.'
On payday
'Sweetie what are you drinking?'
'Oh this? Just Chanel No. 5.'
When your landlord gets mad at you for paying your rent one day late
'She's so cold, I bet she has her period in cubes.'
When it's after work drinks and your colleague won't stop talking about the 'bants' he's going to have at the weekend
When it's the Monday after a weekend of barbecues
'I'm going to be thin. I'm going to do thin-things.'
Scrolling through the #beachbodyready hashtag on Instagram
'There might be a moment, one week after death, when women achieve the figure they want.'
When you're putting together a party on Facebook and your housemate is hovering her ex-boyfriend's profile picture
'I hope you're not inviting that bollocky, selfish, two-faced, chicken bastard, pig-dog man are you?'
When your friend looks judgementally at your saved items on ASOS
'Whatever I choose is cool because I am cool.'
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.