Ba ba baaaaa ba ba, ba ba baaaa ba ba ba ba baaaaa, ba ba ba baaaaaa. It’s back you guys! Jurassic Park has risen its massive T-Rex head once again, this time under the guise of Jurassic World, the new mah-oosive summer blockbuster starring Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard and a very big and very scary new dinosaur.
Twenty-two years on from the original film (yep), the island of dinos is now a hugely successful theme park, owned by one of the richest men in the world. Bryce Dallas Howard is its formidable manager and Chris Pratt is the guy who used to be in the Navy, but who now tries to train raptors for a living.
But, not all’s well in the park. Profits are down and to counteract that, the park’s owners have decided to take the liberty of creating a new super dino using very complicated science that involves mashing together a whole bunch of DNA and crossing their fingers as to what pops out at the end.
The unveiling of this new dino coincides with a visit by Bryce Dallas Howard’s nephews, which makes things a bit tricky when this new super dino doesn’t fancy being in her cage anymore.
Here’s why you need to go and watch Jurassic World this weekend.
Chris Pratt
Christ Pratt, Chris Pratt and, oh Chris Pratt. After Megan Fox in *Transformers *and every other grease-covered, hotpant wearing lady that’s followed in subsequent blockbuster films, it’s nice to have Chris Pratt taking on the role of bonafide hunk in Jurassic World. Wait for the positively filthy shot of him working on his motorbike in a grubby white T-shirt. Also, the way he wrangles those raptors? Phwoar.
Bryce Dallas Howard might be wearing heels but she’s kicking ass, too
There’s been a lot of chat about whether Bryce Dallas Howard running away from a T-Rex in heels can be classed as feminist, and yes, her character Claire (head of the multi-billion dollar Jurassic World theme park) is a classic ‘bossy’, ‘Type A’ kinda lady but she’s got her shit together.
Claire can hold her own next to a T-Rex, a raptor and a bunch of very silly men. AND she saves the gang on several occasions without ever once complaining of a blister. Which is better than we could do. TBF, she probably could have done with wearing slightly more appropriate clothing, but dino escapes don’t always have the courtest to wait until you’ve got yourself a pair of trainers.
Nick from New Girl is in it!
And, although we imagined Chris Pratt was going to take the funny man role, it’s actually Jake Lacy playing one of the park’s minions who brings the laughs. Grubby, inept and socially awkward, he’s basically still Nick from New Girl but now with added dinosaurs. Which seems like a terrible idea.
The new dinosaur is bad-freakin-ass
If you thought the T-Rex from last time around was scary, wait until you meet Jurassic World’s Indominus Rex. This genetically modified dino-nightmare has been cooked up for the cool sum of $26 million (apparently kids are ‘bored’ of the other dinosaurs now and need something bigger and better and scarier).
The trouble is, what DNA have they used to make her? Bad stuff, that’s what, meaning she’s essentially got mad powers. Oh, and obviously she’s going to escape because that’s what always happens.
THIS GUY
Wicked cool.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.