The noughties were a different time. 2006 was only ten years ago and already, the list of stuff that is SO not OK to say and/or do in 2016 is longer than your arm. I mean, it was never OK to say douchey stuff, people just used to be less woke to what* *douchey stuff was.
Reality TV in the mid-noughties then, remains on YouTube as an insane snapshot of a time with outdated ideals and sensibilities. And I mean insane. Some of the reality TV shows commissioned during this time were un-fucking-believable.
Let's take a look at what people once thought was OK.
There's Something About Miriam
The state of this one.
The concept was simple for this 2003 Sky 1 show. Six men fought a Bachelor-style competition over 21-year-old Miriam. It was hosted by Tim Vincent, remember him? Episode by epsiode, Miriam whittled down the men until she ended up with her finalist, 23-year-old Tom Rooke, a lifeguard.
Sadly, that's not where it ended. Miriam then revealed that she was 'born as a man'. Her words. Because Miriam was in fact a 'pre-op trans woman'. The show's words, not ours.
The men were so horrified (sigh) that they filed a joint lawsuit against the production company Brighter Pictures for 'alleged conspiracy to commit sexual assault, defamation, breach of contract and personal injury in the form of psychological and emotional damage.'
Meanwhile, Miriam for her part, the real victim in this because, let's face it, making trans people the object of mockery and ridicule for television is about the lowest you can get, looks like she's probably fine these days. She said she never wanted to have surgery and now lives and works in Valencia, Spain.
Space Cadets
Again, how.
**This 2005 ten part show aired over consecutive days and featured nine contestants who battled it out at the 'Space Tourist Agency of Russia' to win a trip into space. The chosen three were then blasted off into the atmosphere in a spaceship for a five-day mission.
Except the contestants didn't go to Russia. They just thought they did. They boarded a plane that flew in circles for several hours before landing in Suffolk where they were greeted by actors with Russian accents. As for the three contestants that went into space, their 'spaceship' was a simulator in a TV studio. This was something that became very apparent to them when they opened the spaceship door to do their first 'spacewalk' and were greeted by the jeering faces of a TV studio audience on a sound stage.
Also, and I am not kidding about this, one of the tasks the poor contestants had to perform in 'space', was a 'space funeral' for a fictional celebrity dog called Mr. Bimby.
Shattered
This was just downright insane.
In 2004, Channel 4 aired a seven-day show where ten contestants in a house were challenged to stay up for as long as possible with eliminations over sleep-inducing tasks taking place every day. The winner would scoop £100,000 minus £1000 for every time a contestant had fallen asleep.
During the time the show was on, several of the contestants experienced hallucinations which included one guy who thought he was the Australian Prime Minister, another dude who got angry when his fellow contestants refused to play with an imaginary ball and two other guys who became convinced their clothes had been stolen.
Playing It Straight
Another one that gave literally no shits about offending the LGBT community.
The UK version (it was originally a US import) featured Zoe Hardman (as in Zoe Hardman who used to present the aftershow for Take Me Out with Mark Wright) as a contestant. It was a play on the Bachelorette where 12 men played it out for her affections, only six of the men were gay and Zoe had to try and eliminate them so she'd end up with a straight guy.
Tasks included the men winning a competition to 'dress' Zoe - because all gay men love fashion right? Right.
Anthea Turner: Perfect Housewife
Straight out of the 1950's.
Men! If your wife is failing at the most basic level in the tasks of hostessing, homemaking and housekeeping, who can you turn to in order to sort her out?
Why, noted homemaker and marrier of douchebags (Grant Bovey we're looking at you) Anthea Turner of course! Each week, Anthea would meet two hapless housewifes who were incapable of living up to their prime female function of 'homemaking' and try to get them to see the error of their ways. Two weeks later she would return to see if the housewives had learned their lessons.
Here's Anthea teaching two women how to properly arrange their linen cupboard because GOD FORBID THE LINENS ARE A MESS.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.