Still trying to figure out where to head for your much anticipated, little saved for upcoming hols? Well, since it's getting more expensive all the time, make this year the year that you finally do Berlin.
For starters, thanks to your old pal Ryanair, flights start from £56 return (providing obviously that you fly at 5:30AM on a Tuesday but hey, the life of a budget traveller is never going to be convenient). And, getting from the airport to the centre is basically the easiest thing ever; just hop on the 171 bus from right outside the station to Rudow and you'll find yourself on the stupidly-easy-to-navigate metro system, which will take you to your destination all for a mere €2.40.
Plus, Berlin is one of AirBnb (obvs) biggest cities. There's like, a million places to choose from, no matter how late you book and you can get perfectly perfect private rooms in Kreuzberg (which is where you want to be) for a tiddly €15 a night.
Here's what to do when you're there*.
*Disclaimer: if you want to go to Berghain, do that on your own time mate. I long ago decided I am far too shit at life to be found thursting wildly in a misguided attempt to dance at clubs. A mate of mine does go quite a lot on a Sunday though and would thoroughly recommend it. She gets up, has brunch with cocktails and spends her day bopping away before emerging at 9PM, heading home in time for a no-hangover Monday. Which sounds almost tempting.
If you want to pretend you have money
Since it opened towards the end of last year, Berliners and tourists alike have been swarming all over the Monkey Bar at the top of the 25Hours Hotel. Think members club Soho House with a fun design makeover and you’re halfway there. Cocktails are pricey but beers can be had for €3.50. Even better, the floor-to-ceiling glass windows overlook the zoo. Even in the loo. Also, top tip. If there’s a queue to get up there, ask to go to the bakery on floor three then walk the seven more flights to the top. Sly. Like a cat.
If you don’t mind queuing for your food
Then get your arse to Santa Maria, Kreuzberg’s legendary Mexican Street Food resturant that, as well as being the most delicious Mexican you’ll ever eat without having to worry about having a dodgy stomach, can be visited super cheaply. The vegetarian tacos (soft shell and therefore actually edible) are around £4.50 and, if you go on Tuesdays each taco is €1 (70p). Visit during happy hour too (8-10PM) for €4 margaritas. There's another one in Friedrichshain, plus also check out Piri's, their chicken burger joint that opened last year.
If you want to buy clothes
Berlin’s got all the same shops as any UK city so give the high street stuff around Potsdamer Platz and Alexanderplatz a miss apart from the two Weekday stores (that’s the H&M owned Scandi label you’ve probably been ogling on ASOS), and go vintage. Colours is a good place to start. It’s fucking huge and they do that purchase by the bag thing. One kilo equals €25. In fact, the whole area round Mehringdamm is vintage heaven. Check out Stylo, City-Market, and Treibstoff.
If you need a midnight kebab
If you’ve been to Berlin before you’ll know that the amount of Turkish restaurants, kebab and falafel shops puts the UK to shame. Sorting out the shit from the good can often be a bit of a struggle then. Check out Al Andalos in Neukolln for perhaps the giantest plate of the most delicious Turkish foods you’ll ever have. Each plate is €10 and will serve at least four people.
If you want to go to a museum but don’t fancy paying
Annoyingly, unlike the UK, most museums in Germany are paid entry. Apart from that is, the Topography of Terror, a history of the Nazi party set in the old SS headquarters near Checkpoint Charlie (a tourist hellhole to steer clear of). It’s doesn’t exactly make for the most uplifting afternoon but it’s deffos one of the most fascinating museums you'll have the pleasure of visiting. Watch out for the bit about Lithuania.
If you want to do the tourist bit that most people are too stupid to bother with
Sure it might be a little bit out of the way but The Soviet War Memorial in Treptow Park is deffos worth the 15-minute train journey from central. It’s MASSIVE and very Russian. A description that probably won't make sense until you see it. It looks like something out of Star Wars/The Hunger Games and Treptow is a nice park to hang out in if the weather's good.
If you want to drink beer and chat for hours
Berlin does good dive bars and Neukolln’s Peppi Guggenheim is one of the finest. Go in dressed down and come out stinking of fags and beers having had the best time ever. It’s about £2 a beer. See also nearby Das Gift.
If it’s warm and you want to be outside
I mean it’s a total no-brainer but as long as it’s not raining, get yourself down to the teeny Gorlitzer Park and hang outside around Das Edelweiss, the bar in the middle. Don’t like, head in and buy drinks though, engage in the great German tradition of street drinking and buy bottles of beers to drink on the stone slabs outside. Even better, ditch the beer and buy a little bottle of vodka to mix into a bottle of Club Mate, a sort of herby iced tea thing. You can pick both up both booze and mixer for less than £2 at any good bottle shop.
If you want to get romantic
Allow yourself one swanky meal at least (and by swanky we mean more than a fiver, less than a tenner). Check out
just by Tempelhof, the old abandoned airport which is a great (free) place to spend an afternoon walking around. Mama Kalo is all nice wood, candles and a cosy old romantic atmosphere. It serves flammkuchen; super-thin crust style pizzas, which substitute marinara sauce for cream cheese. Solid move.
If you want to go retro
Check out Room 77 for a step back in time to when the Berlin Wall was still a thing and polyester was king. It’s no nonsense cheap cocktails, massive burgers and big old Mexican dishes. It's motto is 'warm beer, cold women, and fast food made slow' which makes no sense, kind of like the whole place itself. Either way it's fun.
If you want a quiet drink and love massive dogs
Don’t be put off by how non-descript Fabelhaft Bar looks from the outside, inside is a cosy bar that’s a mega local favourite. Not least because of the massive fuck off dog that finds itself there most nights (she belongs to one of the bartenders), and noses her way around the punters looking for friendly faces. Get yourself a glass of wine for around €3.
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
The Best Cities To Go On A Mini Break To If All You Want To Do Is Drink Excellent Cocktails
Berlin Is Over. 2015 Is All About Budapest. Here's Where To Drink, Shop And Stay While You're There
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.