Ready for a very modern horror story? Spare a thought for poor old Reddit user Fckas who recently committed a cardinal sin by mixing social media with copious amounts of booze – and failing spectacularly.
Her post, short and sweet, is one of the worst things you’ll ever read:
‘Today, well early AM, I fucked up and got super wasted and tried to search for my bf’s ex on fb, but when I typed in her name, nothing came up. I searched over and over and nothing. This evening, I see that I had posted her name all over my wall. Kill me.’
She then followed up with, ‘I was so hungover i didn’t wake up until the evening and everyone, everyone saw it.’
OMFG. Horrible stuff.
Here’s some more horrendous Facebook stalking stories from around the internet.
This guy that out-teched himself
A friend in university liked this teacher and found his Facebook by Google-ing his name, proceeding to stalk his Facebook, portfolio website of design stuff, LinkedIn and other stuff. So the next class we have the teacher wants to show the class an example of something and asks to borrow a laptop. My friend obliges and he mentions how the project he’s showing is on his website and Googles his name, and the links to his Facebook, website, LinkedIn etc. are all purple ie. have been previously clicked on and stalked. Pretty awkward, lucky he was a nice dude.
This guy, whose friends could have given him a break
I had a roommate in college who heard about a very cute girl, probably one of the best-looking on campus that year. She had a very unique name – we’ll say it’s ‘Magdalene’. He searched for her using his status box as well.
He had ‘Magdalene’ as his status for a week. Also, this was way back in 2005-2006 or so when Facebook statuses weren’t lost to the Newsfeed instantly and were featured prominently on your profile. Like good friends, we told him... about a week later.
This girl who should have figured out how FB worked first
‘Hey Elle, what’s up with Julia? When I first met her she was pretty cool, but for the past few months she’s really been acting like a total fucking whore. Does that make her a bitch? Almost certainly. If someone acts like a bitch for more than a month then she probably is, fundamentally, a bitch.’
– My friend Kate a few days after she joined Facebook, posted on Julia’s wall.
This guy, who had an absolute shocker
In my drunken stupor. I checked my ex’s fb. Looking over her profile and her new fling... I tried to write her, I figured I’d let her know I was happy for her. I did not manage to do so. I tagged myself in her photo, as her new guy... Stopped drinking after that.
This guy, who went all Mrs Robinson
I once asked this girl I work with how Paris was. She looked at me weird and said she’d never been to Paris. I said ‘sorry I just assumed from your profile picture’. She said ‘I think you’re getting confused with my mother’s profile picture...’
This guy, who’s alerted us to something absolutely horrific
I got caught downloading a lot of photos from a girl’s facebook page. Turns out, facebook sends that person a notification if you download multiple pictures from that person’s page.
And finally, this teacher, who got it horribly, horribly wrong
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.