Lying in a hostel in Siem Reap, stoned out of my mind after making the ill-fated decision to consume 'happy pizza,' I had a thought. Deep in a stoned daze, horizontal and half way through a packet of pringles, I wanted to know: where are all the women who blaze?
I ran through my friends who smoked, and struggled to list women. It was an ex boyfriend who had introduced me to it, a male housemate who had ahem, cultivated my habit, and socially, it had been groups of men I’d usually smoked with. Women who smoked or even, gasp, could roll, were an impressive token in gangs of men compensating for their communicative and social inabilities by blazing all day. Women had to be invited into the subculture, and were far from part of it.
While male stoner culture has dominated, in 2016, more women are starting to emerge in the public eye. From Rihanna to Alia Shawkat, Broad City to Girls, women who smoke are becoming less elusive, constructing musical and visual narratives around their lives and their experiences with drugs. For many, the mental image of the stoner remains a spaced, white American guy a la Pineapple Express but women are reclaiming weed and the culture around it – with a booming female-led cannibusiness in the US to a Tumblr culture of female stoners. These are women who smoke for self-care, for their mental health, to manage their stress and to go to art galleries, or just to watch endless repeats of The Simpsons (me).
America is certainly leading the transition (no doubt due to legalisation) but is this reemerging female weed culture evident in the UK? I spoke to a bunch of women who smoke regularly about their lifestyles.
Gemma
How did you get into weed?
Everyone did it when we were 16. I never smoked in school and it was only until last summer and I met this guy who I eventually fell in love with, and on our first date I was so nervous that I properly got stoned. We were just talking about weed at one point so we bought some and I had the best night. We got really really high and had such great sex. That was the catalyst really. All of my friends have kind of gotten over it now. I wouldn’t have started if I hadn’t met him.
What’s your routine?
I smoke in the bath and listening to music. I usually do it before I fall asleep. I don’t have a grinder and I normally smoke with short rizlers. It’s funny then when I smoke with other people who smoke a lot – especially guys – because they tend to be like “what you don’t have a grinder?! You don’t buy king rizlas?!”.
How often do you smoke?
On average I smoke two or three times a week. I’ve just moved to a new city and I’m quite apprehensive of picking up because where I used to live, I picked up from my family friend whose mum used to look after me as a baby. It was odd, how safe and friendly that was.
Why do you like it?
It’s very relaxing. It slows everything down. I can’t stop thinking about things sometimes, so it’s really nice to unwind. It’s like having a glass of wine or a beer at the end of the day to me. It’s about just focusing on myself for that tiny little bit.
What’s the gender balance of your friends that smoke?
In terms of smoking regularly, it’s all guys. It just seems like it’s always men involved in it. Where I’m from, when teenage boys hang out together they tend to get fucked up, but when teenage girl hang out, they chat. I think substances are more a bonding agent with men.
Is there anything political in the act for you?
I don’t think so. Not particularly. I see it as the same as alcohol. I think as long as you’re aware of your mental health (as much as you can be) then it’s no worse than alcohol. I don’t think that weed should be made legal until we have a better mental health system and a better NHS at dealing with that.
Ellie
Appropriately, I spoke to Ellie while she was v stoned in a park playing Pokémon Go (level 15).
How often do you smoke? What’s your routine?
I smoke everyday. Sometimes in the morning if I don’t have to be sentient at work or if I want to take the edge off. I make sure my workload isn’t too much first. I don’t know how much I smoke exactly but I’m happy about it. Probably a quarter of a £20 bag a day?
I usually get home from work shattered, so I make sure I’ve had something to eat and that everything is absolutely perfect. If I’m having it by myself I just get into bed and do it, if not I’ll go round a mates and put some Netflix. I just think, what is the nicest thing I could do for myself? I don’t see it as an unnecessary indulgence.
What do you like about it?
It’s to relax my mind. It alleviates my symptoms of my depression, alleviates my anxiety and it’s a routine that helps me centre myself. Rolling and passing it around gives me a sense of community.
Is it gendered?
If the average person thought of a stoner and they weren’t one, they’d envision a boy in a baggy hoodie who dropped out school and has bad mental health problems.
I definitely have more male friends that smoke. I can count on one hand the amount of regular female stoners. At least twice more guys.
What’s you experience of picking up as a woman?
You do get ripped off. You get smaller bags. I got [a male friend] to pick up for me the other day and he got double the bag I normally get.
When dealers drive you around, especially at night it I feel quite unsafe, even if they’re only dropping you a few streets away. You’re quite vulnerable. They’re not very nice people and you’ve got to look after yourself, and as a woman, sadly, the onus is on you.
Sylvia
How did you get into smoking weed?
We were just a group of friends in Paris – all girls – aged14/15 and at parties we provided the weed. We had friends who did it and we would get together every week after school and smoke and chill.
And what’s the gender balance of your friends now that smoke?
Mostly men. My female friends who I used to smoke with are in France, so in England it’s mostly guys.
I think it’s because there’s an idea that girls won’t be able to handle it or that smoking is bad for them. Also, we don’t see weed medically. I would tell a lot of my girlfriends that if you have period pains, you get a bit of honey weed and if you put a few drops in a salad then it literally released you from that pain. A lot of people think that’s bullshit.
What is your routine?
I’ll smoke regularly when I have weed. For me it doesn’t seem that big a difference to smoking cigarettes. It’s just a lifestyle. I normally smoke when I come back from a night out or in the afternoon when I have nothing planned just in my bed and watch a movie and YouTube videos.
It is important for me to know how to roll my own joints, because with my female friends – we would never accept to take a toke from a stranger. The reason why is because you never know what is in it, some people put mix it with crystal meth or other weird stuff.
What’s the appeal for you?
It calms and sooths me. I’m a real negative and agitated person and I get anxiety so weed really makes me mellow.
In terms of picking up, do you ever feel unsafe?
Since I travel a lot I always have to find new dealers, so I always feel like it is the first time I'm picking up. Hence, I'm aware of wearing certain clothes like hoodies, nothing too nice or 'revealing'. It’s stupid but you have to abide by those social rules so that they think, 'oh she looks like a bit of a tomboy' and won't do or say anything that'll make you feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately some drug dealers cross the line and would often text me for a drink because they have my number. You’re just more vulnerable as a woman.
How much do you think class and race comes into it?
This is a difficult question to answer because most of or social 'events' or phenomena are in some way affected by class and race. Everything is systemised and I do believe that weed or drugs in general are relevant in a discourse about race and class.
There is also of course a hierarchisation between different types of drugs as there is a hierarchisation between different types of weed, generally depending on the quality.
There’s also the issue of fetishizing women of colour who smoke. A woman smoking a joint is shown as risqué/sexy but also approachable, almost "girlfriend material" because weed is associated with the 'boys club’ and 'bros' etc. That said, it's also important to point out different reaction to different shades of "brownness".
As a south East Asian woman, the gaze on me is different to another woman of colour with a darker shade for example. It's just very difficult to tell because all of our experiences are different and there is a constant risk of categorisation. But anyone can go on Instagram and have a look at pictures of women smoking weed, and you can pretty much figure out how people in general respond to that through comments and hashtags.
Rachel
How did you get into smoking weed?
I first tried it when I was 14 but didn’t start smoking regularly until I went to festivals, so like 16. It was the cool thing that boys bought to a group; I don’t think girls ever picked up.
What’s your routine?
It’s an occasional thing for me. I do it when I chill out, before a night in. I do it before I eat food so it’s extra delicious. I have a list of films I want to watch on my phone but some of them are earmarked to watch when I’m high
Why do you like about it?
It sounds corny but it expands the things I think about. It unlocks this door into a bit of my imagination that I never normally get access to. Even if you go too far over the edge, it’s still such an experience I find it eternally interesting and I wonder, 'what am I going to think of this time?'
I didn’t start thinking of it as self-care until I found the tumblr community of women who smoke pot. Sexuality is a really big part of it, and it’s very much for the other women. That’s when I started thinking, hey, you do actually enjoy this, and it’s okay to enjoy it.
Do you see it political to be a woman smoking weed?
Yes and no. For high profile woman like Rihanna it’s really fucking cool how much she doesn’t care, and women in the public eye popularizing the fact that women do like doing it just for themselves, that’s really great. Doing it because you want to do it and not because you want to fit in.
I do think men tend to dominate cultures that aren’t gendered. There are so many aspects of culture that men have such a hold on just because they are the dominant gender. They take ownership.
Saying that, if you do smoke too much it can be harmful. The reverse stigma is that guys feel pressured to do it too much.
We need less men singing about 'women weed and weather' as if they’re interchangeable, and more Rihanna-blazing-on-a-beach-giving-zero-shits. So next time you’re smoking with a bunch of men, roll. Weed culture might be only a fraction of the space women need to reclaim in the vast geography men have monopolised, but it’s still a subculture we’re entitled to be part of. Lets take it back, one spliff at a time.
*some names have been changed
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.