Caitlin from Wichita, Kansas has been tweeting her boyfriend's sleep talking and it’s the best thing we’ve seen all week. The man in question, know as Sir Lord Dick Pat (on Twitter, not IRL) has the weirdest dreams, ranging from tigers to bullets (what the f has he been watching before bed?!) and we’re using them to get us through Friday.
Enjoy.
Yes, you talking again.
He’s probably dreaming about deep sea diving while on holiday in Barbados, sounds lush.
The fishy dream continues; things are getting intense
We assume he was inside a fish or octopus and then performed a surgery to get out of there
With a chainsaw, obviously…
Really don’t have a clue what’s going on right now
It’s okay guys, he got out
But he got stung by a weaver fish and had someone tried to pee on it
Is he eating a bullet? Maybe. Who knows
We agree, there never is enough nachos cheese
Now he wants tigers, we’ve gone from sea animals to land ones.
We’re not really sure who he’s calling a ‘whore’ here but having an apple doesn’t make you a whore so don’t listen to him
Okay we’re done. Sir Lord Dick Pat, go see a sleep therapist kthanksbye.
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Follow Alyss on Twitter @alyssbowen
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.