Labia (labii?) are an enigma aren't they? Just this morning a friend assured me that hers were getting bigger as she got older.
While I don't know if that's true, I do know that few women think they've got attractive labia; in fact most of my friends are just super self-conscious about their genitalia in general. Which is weird, because most guys are fine to talk openly about their majestic willies when actually they just look like hanging naked mole rats.
Yesterday, Reddit user Sigourney_ shared her story about how much her labia bother her, and, she thinks, any partners that she's had.
'Every guy I've been with since my ex and I split hasn't know how to handle my lady bits,' she wrote. 'Because I have gigantic fucking hideous redundant labia.' She says she once asked her mum if she used to be a boy because she was worried about the size of them.
'I just have fucking enormous labia that hides my clit and guys consequently can't find it, and as such, like to pretend it doesn't exist. They don't like to finger me, eat me out, look at my vag, nothing.' Sigourney_ goes on to say that they get caught in her underwear and are 'large enough to be uncomforable on a consistent basis.'
I HATE that women are made to feel like this about their genitals. Lord knows we've got enough other stuff going on without wondering whether some guy is secretly thinking 'Oh shit, what's going on down there?' In reality, the guys in question probably have little-to-no idea what's going on and they're just so happy to be anywhere near a lady's vagina that they're losing their minds anyways.
Luckily though - the women of the TwoXChromomes subreddit stepped in to offer their advice to Sigourney_. Here's what they said...
Check out the Labia Library
User Highbury_Fields recommends checking out realistic images of what other womens' labia look like; 'Since a lot of women have no idea what other women's labia look like (and therefore compare themselves to unrealistic, photoshopped porn, etc), perhaps it might be useful for you to look up the labia library'.
For the uninitiated, the Labia Library is the brainchild of an Australian non-for-profit organisation to show the 'natural diversity of women's genitals'.
User Sterfri (a guy) seconds educating more people on what labia actually look likw saying; 'NOTHING WRONG WITH THEIR LABIA.' He also adds; 'Why don't people talk about balls? They're fucking ugly in my opinion.'
Let a dude reassure you
Sure, we shouldn't be looking for male approval but, if it's men women are worried about judging them then perhaps this comment (from a now deleted user) might be of some help; '
'So apparently I have seen a wide range of labia, because there is nothing there I find especially unusual or alarming, or that I wouldn't kiss or have sex with.
I just want to emphasize something: labia are fucking great. As a straight man, I really appreciate that the vagina is an organ designed by evolution to make the penis feel good, and labia are a big part of that. When a woman is aroused and her labia are engorged, the sensation of them holding and stroking the penis is amazing. Aesthetics are arbitrary: it's easy to eroticize the shape and size of labia if you learn to understand what they're there for!'
Talk to a doctor
User Mundabit recommends talking to a doctor if your labia are getting in the way of your everyday life. 'When your labia is getting caught and causing pain, irritation or difficulty walking, sitting, bike riding, or making hygiene harder to acheive, then labiaplasty is definitely something you should talk to your GYN about.
There's a difference between guys being uneducated, selfish in bed, and immature when it comes to labia, and actually having labia that is negatively impacting your life on physical, social and medical levels.
There's no reason to think your labia is ugly or that you are undeserving of intimate sexual contact because of your labia, Deep down I'm sure you (OP) know that's not true because healthy labia is sexy labia and it might not be the cup of tea of the guys you've dated, but It's lovable.
So personal insecurities aside, Your labia is getting in the way of daily, non-sexual life, so there's no reason to reflect any further on your true motives, labiaplasty will help you.
You will still need to address any insecurities. Personally before I had my labiaplasty I loved my vulva, I thought it was fun and crazy just like me. I hated my vulva, but that's because it got caught as I walked and caused me pain. Once I got the offending flaps cut down it stopped causing me pain and I no longer hated it.
Unfortunately because so many people have been unkind to you, if you do decide to get labiaplasty for medical reasons, there will still be psychological scars to address.'
Remember, a whole bunch of guys don't know what the hell they're doing in bed
'Any man who can't find your clit,' Says Mohammadismyallah, 'Isn't fucking trying. And you don't need to be with them again anyhow.'
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.