Ever feel a little bit too much pressure to hit all of the milestones in life – house, marriage, kids – especially at a time when getting your skint/flaky/supposedly detoxing friends together for a drink, let alone reaching all those goals, seems farfetched?
Well, so does this woman on Facebook. You might not know Emily Bingham, but you might agree with what she has to say.
, she added this comment: ‘Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
‘Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family ... before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works ... before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking ... just stop. Please stop.’
She explains all the myriad reasons people might not be able to conceive, or might not want to have a baby right now, and that: ‘You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration. Sure, for some people those questions may not cause any fraught feelings -- but I can tell you, from my own experiences and hearing about many friends’ experiences -- it more than likely does.’
While she appreciates people are only nagging out of a well-intentioned excitement, perhaps it’s worth asking someone ‘what they’re excited about right now. Ask them what the best part of their day was.’
Emily adds: ‘If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you. If you’re curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready.’
It’s a pretty good point (it’s been shared 54,000 times!), and one worth remembering , because putting pressure on people – especially women – to churn out children could, we imagine, take all of the fun out of what people do to make babies in the first place.
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.