Money. Do you have enough of it? Do you want - or need - more of it? Has a lack of funds recently forced you to cancel plans with friends, a Netflix subscription or a gym membership? For many of us, there’ll always be niggling doubts that you’ll ever have ‘enough’ money, and it doesn’t always depend on how much you earn. For some people, that worry could be whether you’ve got enough saved for a holiday this year, for others, it’ll be whether or not you can pay rent at the end of the month. I mean, keeping a check on your outgoings is something that doesn’t even escape the rich and famous - remember when it was revealed that Kate Moss flew Easyjet (and things got a bit rowdy)? Oh yeah, how could you forget.
Trying to keep control of your spending is a good habit to get into, and making small changes to manage your finances can have a drastically positive impact on your life. Budgeting well can even lead you to having more money to spend, if you stick to it (although, of course, that’s often the hard part). But the knock-on effect of your financial behaviour is more crucial than you might think. Your mental health can be seriously affected by your financial decisions, with one in two people in debt also having a mental health problem, according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists.
But if you’re open and honest about your money situation, the worry of a near-empty bank balance needn’t feel so engulfing. When you get a hold on your finances, other aspects in your life can improve massively - including your relationships. Financial strain is often cited as a factor which leads to couples breaking up, so face it head on, and get number-crunching.
One Debrief reader spoke to me about how her money worries were affecting her relationship. She said: ‘My boyfriend has said that the one thing he would change about me is how much I worry about money. I say no to social events, drinks and hen-dos because of the stress it would cause me on the money front. He’s even bailed me out during a few months when I wasn't going to be able to pay for the Tube to get to work. He earns more than me so has a bit more disposable income. He's been so supportive but then I worry that money will come between us. I just try to make sure that we communicate about it.’
So why does money make us feel so on edge? I spoke to behaviour expert Richard Daniel Curtis about the science behind our relationship with money. Why do we find it so hard to feel in control of it – and why does not having ‘enough’ cause us so much anxiety? He said: ‘If you have a bad relationship with money, or a background of financial trauma, you’re likely to get an animalistic response to anything that threatens your stability with it.’
But surely everyone struggles to live purely within their means all the time, right? He added: ‘The reason why shopaholics continue to shop, but often feel bad about their purchases - especially if they can’t afford what they’re buying - is because they’re stuck in a dopamine loop. Dopamine is triggered when you go shopping: it’s the searching drug. When you purchase something, the search is over, and endorphins are released. However, if you find that you keep buying stuff but it’s not making you happy - perhaps because it’s putting you out of pocket - you go searching again [triggering dopamine] to try and make you feel better [causing a short-term release of endorphins].’
So, we can blame the chemicals in our brain for our routinely scroll of ASOS every morning. But if it’s hardwired into our everyday behaviour, can things ever really change?
‘You have to recognise patterns of your spending if you want to feel more in control of your finances,’ Richard continued. ‘That’s the first step. When you notice what you’re spending and suppress that temptation to buy something when you can’t afford it, you should reward yourself in small ways.’ (But not necessarily by purchasing something else.) If you’ve made an effort to change your ways with money, give yourself some encouragement to convince your brain to make these good choices again - it’s a form of positive reinforcement.
So, it’s a no-brainer: Being good with money can make your life easier and feeling out of control can impact your life far beyond not being able to shop the latest trends on the high street.
But it’s important to differentiate between money problems and money worries, according to author of How to Worry Less About Money John Armstrong. He says that an actual money problem would be not having enough in your account to pay your rent this month - in other words, the only solution would be gaining access to more money. On the other hand, money worries are just as likely to play on your mind, but the situation is less serious. They say more about you, and what’s going on inside your head, not just your back account. These could be minor anxieties such as feeling like you desperately need to buy new clothes for your wardrobe as you’ve worn the same things to work for the past two years, but, if you’re being honest with yourself, you can’t really afford to right now. These are worries that it’s important to not let escalate out of control, and instead, try to manage better.
But how oh how do you get your finances sorted when you’re broke? There are small changes that can make a huge difference to your everyday life, and while they may not be the most glamorous, the pennies will add up.
Planning ahead will help. It’s amazing how quickly those £4 Pret lunches add up, setting you back more than £1,000 a year if you have one every day (yes, I did have to use a calculator). Debrief readers got in touch to say how making small changes have made them feel that bit more in control of their finances - but enough to make a difference.
One suggested the age-old trick of taking money out from an ATM and only spending that. In a world of contactless and Apple Pay, this is a way to actually see how much money you’re parting with. You’re less likely to impulse buy items you can’t afford (and let’s be honest, don’t really need) when you have to part with cold hard cash.
Another suggested banking apps - A number of ‘next generation banks’ have recently launched and offer a proactive approach to better money management in their app based banking products. Atom, Tandem, Starling and Monzo (formerly Mondo*) all aim to help customers spend, budget and save better by sharing spending and balances in real time in easy to use apps, find out morehere. There’s also the option for those hard sloggers - getting a second job. One person I spoke to even waitressed on the side while holding a high-paying job in the City to fund the lifestyle she was after.
No matter how much you earn or how you earn it, money is always likely to be something at the back of your mind. But it doesn’t have to take over your life, and tiny changes - plus the inclination to learn and understand more about it – are the first steps towards proper adulting. Look at you!
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.