Let’s quote Emma Watson right now and say that gender should be seen as ‘a spectrum instead of two sets of opposing ideals.’ Basically, men and women should have equal rights and opportunities, amiright? But unfortunately that’s just not always the case. Especially in some professions – like when you work behind a bar.
‘There are sometimes patronising male customers who will try and show off their cocktail knowledge when it’s a lady behind a bar,’ says our resident expert Emilie, who’s worked behind more bars than you’ve had cocktails. ‘It might be their way of flirting but it usually comes across a bit rude, in a ”let me teach you your job” kind of way. And, when that happens, I just smile and wait for it to pass.’
But surely being hit on constantly must get annoying? Especially when it’s with clichés these women have probably heard hundreds of times? ‘There are normally three questions that come in a row,’ Emilie admits. ‘It starts with, “What’s your favourite drink?’ ‘How long have you been making cocktails for?’ and finally, they’ll try to impress us by ordering absinthe. I’ll have to stay on the table for at least 5 minutes to serve it so I’m stuck there for an even longer chat.’
Equally, Emilie says if you are looking to meet someone via work, it’s harder for a female bartender to strike up that relationship without getting a reputation. ‘Guys who work in bars can afford to be a bit more liberal, should we say, with their charm and the chat – and as a result every night, they would get numbers after numbers,’ she recalls about the last bar she worked behind in central London. ‘If we did that then we’d get a reputation and in this industry your reputation is everything because you often get jobs via recommendations.’
The difficulty is compounded by the fact that having a relationship with someone who isn’t in the industry is also tricky. ‘My ex couldn’t handle the lack of routine in my life that’s down to the job – and got jealous really easily,’ says Emilie. ‘For example when you’re whisked off to Barcelona for two nights with a bunch of male colleagues, free booze but accommodation that means you’re sharing rooms, your partner sometimes can feel threatened. You have to be with someone very trusting.’
Turns out it’s not just boyfriends who can be judgmental either. Emilie says she often encounters sexism when she tells people what she does for a living. ‘The amount of run-ins I have of girls talking about me hooking up with people I meet in a bar or making assumptions that’s the kind of thing I do is unreal,’ she says. ‘You have to be thick skinned; you have to be able to take the gossip. And at the end of the day you have to remind people that you work with male colleagues so closely they’re like your brothers. And customers – whether male or female – are just that: customers.’ Salute our female bartending friends with a Godmother cocktail.
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Illustration by Assa Ariyoshi
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.