With our world of plenty of charity singles and special offers being advertised to us and the cold nights closing in our our cold days and basically turning all our waking hours into a dusty blue-ish tinge, the countdown to Christmas is on.
Which means, yes, we’re counting the days, most notably, the Mondays we have until that hallowed day of finding out just how annoying it is to endure awkward family chat from the comfort of your sofa after a stomach-load of assorted meats and carbs. Until you find some booze.
READ MORE: Your Hangover Need-To-Know Before The Party Season Really Starts
How many Mondays have we now got until Christmas? One, well one point five if you count today...
And this is how you’re going to spend them:
**Monday 14th December - You're really hungover
**
Following the week of hangover, there’s just about everything telling you that it is, indeed, Christmas. You’ve got no clothes left to wear and you’re resorting to jumpers that are neither Christmas themed or relatively ‘trendy’ because, of course, you’ve got an array of dips down your favourite ones – everything from ‘festive’ houmous to McDonald’s barbecue sauce to chunks of mince pie. Plus, even if you did put your clothes in the wash immediately after discovering their smoke stench, it’s December, it takes, like, 30 days for anything to dry in the freezing cold hovel that you're supposed to call home. It turns out no-one got tickets to that New Years thing, so someone is having a houseparty and nobody needs a ticket for a houseparty, right?
READ MORE: You Need To Book Your Train Ticket Home For Christmas Now. No, Really.
**Monday 21st December - You're shopping. Frantically
**
With a few days left until actual Christmas, you can still just about order some shopping online, but now, and only now, do you feel compelled to ensure you have every single gift in your possession. So you get together your essentials – comfy shoes, spacious backback, hair scraped back, or at least out of the way of your eyes, and dart between slouching mooching shoppers so you can get your paws on every present you need. You suddenly realise that it's more painful to walk slowly than fast and somehow Boots and WH Smith seem like old friends. Frantically packing to get back home for the holidays, or left a little deflated by the fact your trip home is only half an hour or so, at the very least you’ve gone on a little detox. Just until Christmas Eve, that is.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.