‘Unprecedented' may be the buzzword of 2020, but there’s been a hint of déjà vu about some of this year’s oddness. Think long, stagnant periods indoors; copious eating of baked goods; and occasional bursts of getting all dressed up... just to stay at home. Is it me, or does that sound a lot like Christmas?
Or, more specifically, Twixmas – the week between 26 December and 1 January that we usually dedicate to sofa time, TV binges and overeating, in an attempt to recover from a long slog of parties, hangovers and stressful days in the office. No parties this year, but the question is, as we approach the end of 2020 – what are we supposed to do with the real thing?
First of all, argues Charlotte Fox Weber, psychotherapist and author of upcoming book What We Want, seize that time at the end of the year as an opportunity for self- care and reflection. What does make this week different to the thousand that have preceded it in 2020 (well, it’s felt like a thousand) is that you’re unlikely to have to deal with a to-do list, a mind-numbing Zoom conference, or 45 emails from your boss – so lean into looking after yourself.
‘Most of us feel frayed and depleted at the moment,’ says Charlotte. ‘This year, we have lost so much and coped with so much. You need to acknowledge all you have been through, give yourself credit for what you’ve survived, and value yourself for dealing with unexpected stressors.’ While staying home may be nothing new, have you really indulged in much proper, guilt-free rest this year? Now’s the time.
Speaking of stressors, however, the other thing that differentiates this Twixmas from the rest of 2020 is that you might, finally, be having a family reunion. Perhaps you haven’t been able to see them all year, and now you’re experiencing five glorious, Boris-sanctioned days of togetherness (three households only).
This might fill your heart with joy and gratitude. But it might also bring on the usual festive family claustrophobia of too many adults in a house together, with a generous 2020 dollop of pressure to enjoy this rare ‘quality time’. On Day 2, you’re clinking mugs of mulled wine, bonding tearfully over how much you’ve missed each other; by Day 4, there’s been a major argument about the vaccine, Brexit, or who is responsible for selfishly finishing the Baileys, and you’re thinking fondly of social distancing.
‘Christmas is pressured even under normal circumstances,’ says Charlotte. ‘The pressure to gather can be trying, and yet we miss it when we aren’t allowed to do it. Let yourself feel the feelings and know that they’re temporary. Surviving is the aim – not necessarily thriving.’
One way to get through it is to turn the traditional cosy Twixmas on its head and get outside. After all, quiet time at home is exactly the thing many of us need a break from – especially if we’ve been furloughed, unemployed or even just WFH. Is anyone really craving a week on the sofa? I’ve spent a year on mine. You can head out for a break from your loved ones, or can take them with you in a team effort to shake off the sluggish feeling. ‘Just keep on moving,’ advises Charlotte. ‘Remember that stuckness is the enemy right now, and moving your body even the smallest bit can shift something.’
This is the year for Twixmas to be less hygge, more hiking – or at the very least, a time to stroll around the park, swinging by the shops on the way home for another bottle of Baileys and some mince pies.