Turns Out West End Club Promoters Are Just As Douchey As You’d Expect

'If everyone is super stunning I am sure I can speak to the door girl to either make it cheap or get you in completely free'

Turns Out West End Club Promoters Are Just As Douchey As You'd Expect

by Jess Commons |
Published on

Just in case you’ve ever been tempted by those clubs you see celebs falling out of in central London, think again. Because, it turns out, in a twist that surprised absolutely no-one; the promoters from those clubs are kind of mean.

According to a report from the Mail, a girl hoping to attend Cirque Le Soir nightclub just off London’s Regent Street was sent a list of instructions by a promoter called Mia Md Mamum that included the following rules (all spelling mistakes his own FYI)...

2. Bring £20 cash incase (if everyone is super stunning I am sure I can speak to the door girl to either make it cheap or get you in completely free).

3. Look as beautiful as I can see you are!

4. No big / fat girls / guys (the club will turn a person away).’

Which, as I’m sure you’ll agree, is probably the most charming thing you’ve read all day. Although, perhaps not suprising. Because, as anyone knows if you’ve had the pleasure of attending one of these meat markets clubs, this attitude only continues inside.

These rules don’t just go for the person sorting out the guest list though. The rest of your squad needs to be on point, too. Take the other poor girl who texted a promoter a picture of her friends. When he decided that one girl ‘is not so good’, he claimed that 3/4 of the group would probably have to pay entry to make up for the ‘not so good’ girl failing to meet his standards.

Here’s that convo in all its glory. Again, spelling mistakes are all courtesy of the man himself...

*‘That’s fine. Only 1 girl is not so good. The door girl will probably charge 3/4 of the girls because of that 1 girl. OK?’ *

‘I’ll talk to the girl who’s birthday it is, if not I’ll come down another time with the abercrombie girls.’

‘Ya know I just feel a bit bad telling her she’s not that good.’

‘You don’t need to tell we. Just come. I will sort you guys out.’

‘Bit awks though if half have to pay I just don’t want them to be p**d than them all blame me.’

‘I will make sure none of you have to pay.’

SO HE CAME ROUND IN THE END GUYS. What a bloody gent.

The depressing thing is that again, none of this is a surprise to anyone. Clubs like this have long been a place for rich dudes to go and get their egos tickled by pretty girls after a free night out. And hey, if you are one of those girls and are willing to deal with the bullshit promoters and rich dudes chucking money at £1,000 bottles of champagne, then by all means go right ahead and more power to you. Just make sure the opinions of the aesthetically-obsessed punters and promoters don’t stop you from having a good night out.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

7 Reasons All The UK’s Clubs Are Shutting Down

Things You Only Know If You Go Clubbing In A Wheelchair

What Happened When We Went To The World’s First Alcohol-Free Nightclub

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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