'I hated showering, because it required me to get naked and touch all the parts of my body I hate’, wrote one. 'I just want a loving person in my bed tonight, but I wonder if they'd find me attractive,' writes another.
But these aren't just quotes from women conflicted about their body image – they're part of a Tumblr called MtF Confessions that's taking off among transwomen seeking support as they transition.
READ MORE: Here's Orange Is The New Black Laverne Cox Smartly Deflecting Some Weird Trans Questions
The site was founded by 22-year-old Kristen, after noticing a few similar sites for transmen when she was searching for support online during her own transitioning process. The first post she published is telling in its simplicity, saying 'I’m always hesitant to hang out with my girl friends because I’m afraid of how huge and wide I’ll look compared to them.' Who hasn't felt like that at some point in their lives? But it isn't a normal girl worry - it's the concern of someone who doesn't want the people she's with to know she was born with the body of a man.
Since then, over 7,000 people have added their own admissions – and all of them provide a poignant insight into the often traumatic process of transitioning. 'Sometimes I buy pads and wear them. For some reason it just makes me feel more like a girl,’ reads one. ‘I actually like having a penis and I hate myself for it. I shouldn’t like it,' says another.
But among the trauma, there's a lot of joy and humour, too. As a case in point, check out this reinterpretation of Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz: ‘I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad. I’ve got estrogen in a bag.’
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.