So we now know the six traits science says we need in order to be successful females: assertiveness, aggressiveness, empathy, ego strength, energy and stress tolerance. Sounds terrifying, and so far removed from us that we wouldn’t know where to start. Luckily, there are other traits that are equally important if you’re a twenty-something millenial trying to impress without appearing a bit like a psychopath.
Disclaimer: if you figure out how to nail all of these, can you come into the office and give us a workshop? Thanks.
**Friendliness **
Not as lame as it sounds and no, we’re not suggesting you start making loom band bracelets for your boss and hugging everyone (unless that’s something you want to do). Basically, getting ahead means being able to get on with a wide variety of people without making them want to strangle you. Whether you’re in HR, the police force, or you recover stolen art for a living – if you’re in someone’s head as being a cool guy who everyone really gets on with, that will 100% not hurt your chances at a promotion. And if you’re in a job with no prospects, then people will fall over themselves to introduce you to new contacts the moment you express vague interest in getting another job.
Digital Awareness
If you don’t know how to use a computer, then you’re not going to achieve a lot in the coming years when everyone gets replaced by robots/computers become increasingly important etc. Unless you want to be a zookeeper, and even then, they probs keep records of how many elephants there are on a computer. So you’re still screwed.
**Confidence **
We agree with the ‘ego strength’ bit of the above traits successful females share, but want to broaden it into confidence – because that’s what’s going to hold you back. Without wishing to use a masculinised term: you need balls to achieve stuff. Womanballs. Big ole womanballs of steel that crash into a meeting room full of dudes and go, ‘Hey everyone I have an idea and I also want to be paid more.’ Or, if you’re setting up your own business, you need big ole womanballs that can crash around your house, or wherever you decide to conduct your work.
**Self Preservation **
AKA the ability to look after yourself, and cut that dickhead who is dicking you about out of your life/make sure you get enough sleep/go to the goddamn doctors and sort out those headaches/take an effing holiday because you effing need it/say no because you actually need to go home and do laundry and lie face down in some food. You’re not going to be uber successful if your personal life is a mess or you’re not having enough rest, especially not when rent is hysterically high, your phone is making you fat/killing you and being on the internet right now is psychologically screwing you. Self preservation is something that usually kicks into play during a terrible breakup, but treat yourself as if you were a friend all the time, and you’ll see a real difference. On another note, if you work out how to do this can you tell us? Thanks.
A Good Bag
Dunno, it just feels important. Could be because one of our team (me OK, it’s me writing these words right now) has lived a decade wearing cheap bags and having them snap and break every three months and is now genuinely saving to buy a bag that is over £20. Even £22 would be an achievement. But seriously, if every time you put something in your bag you think, ‘Oh fuck this bag is shit, I wish I had a better one,’ then imagine how much nicer your day will be if you actually have a proper adult lady bag. OK whatever.
A Thick Skin
Really gross metaphor, but really important. However you go about it, one thing successful women (and indeed people) all attest to is the ability to bounce back from being told they'll never make it. Literally every single human has screwed up and felt like going home, and we all have different ways of keeping our cool when you've humiliated yourself so find yours and stick to it. Whether it’s going to the loo and talking to yourself firmly in the mirror, listening to a specifically curated playlist, calling someone who always boosts you when you're feeling rubbish or eating a very big cheese-based sandwich, figure out what keeps you from breaking down and put them to work.
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Picture: Matilda Hill-Jenkins
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.