Tories In Suits Need To Stop Trying To Make “Chap Hop” Happen

Gentlemen rappers spit rhymes about tea. And Michael Gove digs it

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by Jess Commons |
Published on

From the mean streets of Surrey there’s a grass-roots movement on it's way up. After years on the underground, ‘chap-hop’ is about the go mainstream, thanks entirely to that lauded purveyor of new music, the music world’s only natural successor to John Peel – Michael Gove.

In a recent interview, the education secretary told the Mail On Sunday that he has ‘a soft spot for contemporary English “eccentric” music. I am strangely addicted to “chap hop” rappers Professor Elemental, Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer and Mr Bruce And The Correspondents’.

So what is ‘chap-hop’? At face value it’s a mustachioed gentlemen who – fresh from raiding the wardrobes of Mumford & Sons and Nigel Thornberry – spit rhymes which cover all sorts of gritty subjects from tea (Cup of Brown Joy – Tea Bag Remix) to tweed (Fighting Trousers). In short, it’s dandified gentlemen using traditional hip-hop cadences and patterns to rap about subjects normally found in Oscar Wilde. Last night, chap-hop hysteria reached peak levels when Mr B. the Gentleman Rhymer played out the credits on Newsnight.

All joking aside though, chap-hop’s not without it’s merits – aside from the infighting (who could forget the feud between Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer and Professor Elemental that plagued the chap-hop world in 2011 in a similar manner to the Biggie and Tupac East Coast/West Coast wars) Mr B has actually made some very valid points concerning Mr. Gove’s fandom in a piece he wrote for The Guardian yesterday. ‘I have sung songs… that rather deride the government and it’s Eton-based cronyism. Perhaps this is the very reason Gove appreciates my work. As a non-Etonian and thus an outcast within the cabinet, this is perhaps a little snook cocked at his colleagues.’

Could this be true? Has Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer uncovered a subtle but evocative plot by Michael Gove to undermine his Tory superiors? Is this the end of the Conservative government as we know it? Watch this space, but you know what? Maaaaaybe.

Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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