In the best news we’ve heard since…this morning when we learnt that Jay Z and Beyonce might be going on tour together, is the news that the beard has reached a tipping point. Basically, beards have become so ubiquitous as to become annoying. Beards aren’t cool anymore! Hurrah!
Research conducted by scientists at the University of New South Wales has found that when people are confronted by successive images of hairy men, clean-shaven hunks become more attractive. And vice versa. Basically, the more ubiquitous the beard becomes, the less attractive women find them.
Researcher Robert Brooks, one of the scientists who led the study, told Guardian Australia: ‘It appears that beards gain an advantage when rare [a phenomenon called 'rarity of ornamentation'], but when they are in fashion and common, they are declared trendy and that attractiveness is over.’
As a casual observer of the beard, we’ve seen it go from lumberjack to niche trend for self-conscious quirksters to shortcut for ‘I’m a cool, East-London hipster guy. I only drink Fairtrade Ethiopian coffee and yes, this is a craft beer in my hand. And despite my hefty beard and chunky Fair Isle knit jumper, I’ve never been camping. In fact my last holiday was to a villa in Tuscany from six colleagues from my digital start up.’
And from there it was a hop, skip and a jump across the city, and the beard went mainstream. Fulham bankers have them, James Middleton has one, and news just in is that Calum Best has a beard. It’s over guys, give it up.
Personally, we’re thrilled. Not because we’ve always hated facial hair. In fact we used to quite like it. But now it’s become such lazy shorthand for ‘cool guy, bit outdoorsy, bit quirky’ that it actually means quite the opposite. Take a quick flick through Tinder in certain neighbourhoods, and you can’t move for bearded men with small dogs.
Because sometimes a beard isn’t a beard. Sometimes you're not just trying to disguise a weak chin, or an unremarkable face. Sometimes it’s a prop, pertaining to a lifestyle you wish you had. But sorry chaps, the jig is up, it’s time to have a shave.
Follow Rebecca on Twitter @rebecca_hol
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.