Dating in other cities is an incredible tool that has helped me reboot my system several times. Dating fatigue is so real. The tireless swiping, the dull first dates, the mindless chat that leads nowhere. Everything can feel stale and when it does I highly suggest dating in another city.
Whether it’s a trip to visit a best friend, a holiday or even a work trip, dating in another city has the ability to restart your engine, give you your mojo back and even (sorry to be dramatic but) give you some faith back that all is not lost. Let me tell you why.
First of all, I am my best self on trips. Doesn’t have to be a holiday - even a work trip brings out the very best of me. Somehow I dress better, am more fun, am in the best mood and so on. Most of us get an extra pep in our step when we’re in a new environment exploring. So why not capitalize on that shininess and go on some dates? Doesn’t it make sense to offer up the sparlikest version of yourself?
Secondly, it’s low pressure. Dating in your own city can feel high stakes. When you date in another city there’s an air of levity to the situation. You’re there for a good time, not a long time and everyone can relax a bit. Especially if you’ve been bogged down in dating and feel yourself taking it all a bit seriously, a low stakes date can help recalibrate you back into having some fun.
Dare I say it… some great casual sex? Shock horror. Women might want to have casual fun sex too. There’s something so sexy about a trip. I find myself most in touch with my sexuality when I’m away (why do you think I’m never in LA…) and I’ve read enough romance novels to know the best sex starts on vacation.
Dating in another city restarts your engine and re-energizes you, in dating and in life! The repetition of going to the same bars over and over again with different versions of the same person from your town can be seriously exhausting. Dating can and should be fun and dating in another city is a good way to remind you of this.
Plus, if you go on a date in another city - even if it’s meh - you’ll get “the scent” on you. A term coined in Sex and The City, “the scent” refers to that magical smell that falls over you when you go on a date. What does the scent do? Why, attracts even more dates of course. Don’t ask me to explain the science, but in all my years of dating I have found this concept to be painfully true. All you need to do to get more dates, is go on a date!
Lastly, it’s a great way to get to know a city. No seriously. My preferred method of sightseeing is being taken to a hot guy’s favorite local restaurant. Way better than the hotel bar three nights in a row.
It doesn’t have to be only the apps! Ask your friends if they know anyone in the city. Make it a date-lite. A cute cousin of a friend who can take you around. Someone’s boyfriends best friend who recently moved there. Ask around, it’ll be worth it
“But Tinx, what if I fall in love with someone who lives far away!” I hear you cry. Listen - if that happens, you’ll figure it out. What a lovely problem to solve that will be. I had a listener of my show who went to Australia during the pandemic and fell in love. She called in asking for advice. Two years later she called to tell me that she was engaged and her fiance was moving to america. Everything is figeroutable. Especially when love is involved.