A monarch has many duties, but the main one is simple: meet people – and lots of them. During her long reign, Queen Elizabeth shook more hands and saw more curtseys than most. In 2018, it was reported that 31% of the UK population had met or at least seen her in real life.
No surprise then that she was said to be witty and an expert at small talk. James Rosebush, a White House official, singled her out as the best conversationalist he’d ever met, and admired the questions she would ask: ‘It could be anything,’ he wrote. ‘Trivial or significant. It was, however, always focused on me – as if I were the important one. She never, ever talked about herself or complained about anything. The focus was always on the other person and delivered as if she were really interested in my answers.’
Here, some of those who crossed paths with Her Majesty remember their special and surprising exchanges.
'Her way of putting you at ease was phenomenal'
Jekka McVicar, herb expert
As a prize-winning gardener at Chelsea Flower Show, Jekka McVicar met the Queen many times from 1993 onwards. ‘Her knowledge, her inquisitiveness, her way of asking a question and putting you at ease was phenomenal – and also she had this delightful humour,’ says McVicar.
This was particularly obvious when they met in 2016. ‘I had a posy of flowers to give to Her Majesty. She looked at them and said, “I didn’t know lilies of the valley were a herb,” and I said, “Yes ma’am, they are. Interestingly, I was contacted the other day by an author who wanted a herb that could kill someone without anyone knowing what it was, and I suggested lily of the valley, because it has the same properties as foxglove.”’
‘With a twinkle in her eye,’ adds McVicar, ‘she looked at me and said, “Oh! I’ve been given a number of posies of lilies of the valley lately. Do you think someone wants me dead?”’
'She had a witty sense of humour'
Richard Quinn, fashion designer
In 2018, Her Majesty made a rare and unexpected appearance at London Fashion Week to award the inaugural Queen Elizabeth II Award for British Design to Richard Quinn. ‘It was the greatest honour of my career,’ he says. While there, she watched his catwalk show: a bold collection of clashing florals, with fabric covering the models’ faces.
‘She was very kind and complimentary with a witty sense of humour,’ says Quinn. ‘I remember her comparing my foil gowns to the trophy, and saying that they looked the same. I found her to be calm and softly spoken, and I felt very comfortable in her presence. She was down to earth and genuinely interested in the creativity of the British fashion industry.'
'She was so warm and wonderful'
David Nott, war surgeon
The surgeon David Nott has spent his career volunteering in conflict zones. In 2014, he worked in Syria treating badly injured children, in a hospital that was continually attacked by shells. A few days after his return, when he was still suffering what he later described as ‘almost psychotic post traumatic stress’, he met the Queen at a private lunch at Buckingham Palace.
‘When it came to my turn to start talking to her, she said, “I heard you’ve just come back from Aleppo,"’ Nott explained in an interview on Desert Island Discs. ‘She must have detected something significant because I didn’t know what to say to her. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to speak to her – I just couldn’t. I could not say anything. So she picked all this up. She said, “Well, shall I help you?”’
The Queen, says Nott, asked the courtiers to bring her corgis and their biscuits. ‘She said “OK, why don’t we feed the dogs?” And so for 20 minutes, the Queen and I, during this lunch, just fed the dogs. And she did it because she knew that I was so seriously traumatised. You know, the humanity of what she was doing was unbelievable … She was so warm and so wonderful, and I’ll never forget it.’
'I hadn't realised how funny she would be'
Rankin, photographer
Fashion photographer Rankin met the Queen to mark the Golden Jubilee in 2002. ‘I was waiting for her in a room with three or four people from the house,’ he said later. ‘I saw her walking down this really long hallway with a footman who must have been two feet taller than her. They were both walking along chatting and laughing, and I was like, “Oh my god, she's human.” We had a chat, she was very funny. I hadn't realised how funny she would be.’
When a piece fell off his camera, the Queen started to laugh. ‘I couldn't take a picture for a second while my assistant was trying to put it back on, but because I'd seen her laugh, I said, “Ma'am, would you just smile please?” She smiled, and then she really smiled, then half smiled, then the shoot was over.’ The finished image is one of her most memorable portraits: it shows her grinning, brightly lit, against a backdrop of the Union Jack.
'She happily recounted her trip to my home'
Elizabeth Kite, Queen’s Young Leaders Award winner
Elizabeth Kite was presented with a Queen’s Young Leaders Award in 2017 for her work teaching a braille class to visually impaired young people in Tonga. At a private meeting after the award ceremony, the Queen asked Elizabeth where she was from.
‘When I said Tonga, she happily recounted her trip to my home that had taken place over 60 years before,’ recalls Kite. ‘She told me about the feast provided, joked about her seating arrangement on the ground, and shared how she was impressed by our nose flute players. She acknowledged my King and Queen. As the conversation went on, she said that we all looked very nice in our traditional attire. This was special to me, because the mat I wore was the only thing I had with me that was a piece of home.’
'She confessed her feet hurt'
Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States
Michelle Obama’s first meeting with the Queen famously involved a faux pas in terms of traditional royal protocol: she put an arm around the monarch. Later, she explained in her memoir that moments earlier, the pair had been complimenting each other’s shoes.
‘I confessed then to the Queen that my feet were hurting,’ she wrote. ‘She confessed that hers hurt, too. We looked at each other then with identical expressions, like, When is all this standing around with world leaders going to finally wrap up? And with this, she busted out with a fully charming laugh... I then did what’s instinctive to me any time I feel connected to a new person, which is to express my feelings outwardly. I laid a hand affectionately across her shoulder.’
It may have been a breach of etiquette, but the Queen's reaction made Obama feel that it wasn’t a faux pas at all: ‘When I touched her, she only pulled closer, resting a gloved hand lightly on the small of my back.’