Cari Weinberg: Lessons I Learned From The Break-Up That Nearly Broke Me
Ignore the bad-quality on this video, it was at a TEDx talk which isn’t one of the official ones so the filming isn’t always as good. Anyways, Cari Weinberg’s four-and-a-half year relationship came to an end when she got a phone call from her boyfriend while on holiday. This talk explains what she learned from the outcome, the main lesson being: ‘It’s OK to admit to weakness’. More importantly though, was something her friend said to her: ‘Get a game plan – figure out exactly what you depended him on for and figure our how you’re going to do those things for yourself from now on.’ Break-ups are already hard to deal with; factor in an unexpected bill you used to split two ways as that might be the thing that actually breaks you.
Emma Gibbs: How Being Heartbroken Was The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Me
Again, the sound quality's not ace – this is another TEDx one, but there’s some really valuable points made. When Emma’s relationship came to an end she’d already spent several years lying to herself about what she wanted out of life and it wasn’t until the end of her relationship forced her to take a long, hard look at herself that she managed to be honest with herself again. Plus, props to Emma for her favourite break up movies being Lord Of The Rings trilogy.
Helen Fisher: The Brain In Love
This one helps to rationalise things. Helen is a scientist who put the brains of a whole bunch of people both in love and who’d just broken up with their partner through MRI scans. What she found in the people who'd just been dumped is that the way the brain reacts to the retraction of love is the same way it reacts in an addict who's lost what it is they crave. According to Helen, when you fall in and out of love you go through ‘tolerance, you need to see them more and more, and more; withdrawals; and lastly, relapse. Romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on earth.’ So you know what, all those feelings you're struggling with? Not your fault, it's science's. Fuck you, science.
Matt Cutts: Try Something New For 30 Days
For when you're out of the moping bit and into the angry bit. Think about something you’ve always wanted to do and add it to your life for the next 30 days. According to Matt, 30 days is just about the right amount of time to form a habit and hey, now you’ve got time on your hands, why not dedicate 30 days to learning the guitar, taking up running or cooking? According to Matt it makes your self-confidence grow no end and it seems like a practical step you can take to turn a negative into a positive.
Neil Pasricha: 3 Secrets To Leading A Truly Awesome Life
When Neil’s marriage ended after only a few years when his wife said she didn't love him any more (harsh) and his best friend committed suicide, Neil needed a way to focus on the positives. He started 1000awesomethings.com, a bit like an internet-based version of The Sound Of Music's My Favourite Things, and it's all about remembering the little things in life which you can be grateful for or which make you smile. His website eventually became the bestselling Book Of Awesome. Here, Neil outlines what it is you need to make your life awesome.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.