There’s a (now pretty universally defunct) genre of work, love and life advice directed at women that encourages us to use our ‘feminine charm’ (ie our sexuality) in order to get ahead. Yes it’s very old fashioned, borderline insulting and certainly sexist – but who can honestly hold up their hands and say they haven’t flirted a bit to get something they wanted?
Whether it’s a couple of quid off a taxi or a even a job offer – flirting, for right or wrong, is a tool that women (and some men) have in their arsenal and even though we might not be proud of it, it’s something that we all probably do. But it’s one thing giving a grown woman the (albeit, pretty cringey) advice to flirt their way to what they want, but giving the same advice to a teenager as young as 13? That’s just creepy, right?
Well, society bible Tatler doesn’t seem to think so, because they have just come under fire after encouraging teen girls as young as 13 to flirt with their friends’ fathers in order to bag invitations to holidays and lavish events.
The advice featured in an article in Teen Tatler called ‘Ten Charm Rules’ and encouraged teenage girls to ‘flirt gently’ with their friends’ dads if they want to be invited on nice holidays and countryside weekends. The advice read: ‘At some point take half an hour to flirt (gently) with the parent of the opposite sex and then write a witty thank you letter – bingo you’re a winner.
‘Soon, word will get out an you’ll be invited everywhere – dinners, more country weekends, swanky holidays and so on, and so on… think of it as essential homework for life. Hone your social-seduction techniques now and those same tools will serve you handsomely forever.’
Liberal Democrat MP John Hemming has come out to condemn the article, published in April, tellingthe Times it was ‘going down territory you shouldn’t be going down.’
‘Being nice and polite is one thing, trying to create a sexual frisson between your friend’s parents and your teenage self is at the very least ill-advised. I’m surprised that Tatler wish to encourage it.’
Now we expect that there’s a very good chance that what Tatler meant (in a very tongue-in-cheek way) by ‘flirting gently’ was simply to be charming – which is fair enough and probably quite good advice – but then why is the ‘charm’ only directed to a parent of the opposite sex?
And anyway, witty thank-you letters aside, everyone knows the best way to suck up to your friend’s parents now is to add them on Facebook, and tag them in a picture of the roast dinner you’ve just scoffed at their house, proclaiming it to be the ‘best food you’ve ever eaten.’ Job done. That’s how you charm in the 21st century – what are they teaching the kids these days?
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophiecullinane
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.